This is... insanely hard. I'm trying to hide how I'm feeling so I can be strong for her, but I know I'm not fooling her. Even when she doesn't remember me, she's still bringing out the real me.
"No, honestly, it's fine. The gigs are just gigs. You mean way more to me than a gig ever will." That and I think my performance, knowing you don't know me anymore, would probably die an epic death.
"What're you apologizing for?" I ask, pulling out my cell phone.
"Well, you seem to love me so very much. But I don't feel the same way. Although I wish, so very much do I wish, I don't know if I ever will again." Should have seen that coming. I dial Rayn's number and turn away slightly.
"Hey, she alright?" he asks. I can hear the other two still playing in the background and Alice trying to get to the phone.
"Umm... it's complicate. I gotta take her back home. I'll be back on the road with you guys as soon as, but we really need to get back to Newberry."
"Oh, that sucks, man. Okay, I'll let the others know. Want me to bring Alice back to the bus?" I swallow and nod, before remembering he can't see me.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you in a bit," he says and hangs up. I sigh and find my bag under the bed, making my clothes refold themselves and slide into my bag, then do the same for hers.
"Alice is gonna be here in a bit. I'll need to find a car from somewhere... I left mine in New York," I run a hand through my hair and get up, looking for my smokes.
"You didn't have to do that. You shouldn't have done that." She says as I find my smokes slotted into the lining of my bag where I keep my knife. I pull one out and light it, standing up.
"Why not? I need to take you home to try to get you to remember... I need to-" I start pacing up and down, staring at the floor, trying to figure out how to make her remember. My hand is shaking, the cigarette between my fingers making it more obvious. I put it between my lips and leave it there.
"Because... In case I don't, you know... remember. I want you to get on with your life. Don't stay back for me; you have a band for crying out loud! You have everything to live for."
"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't even try? A couple of gigs don't matter." I put the band in front of you already, and now you don't remember a single fucking thing.
"Okay." Her short answer makes me want to ask what's wrong, but... that would be a retarded question, so I don't ask it. Instead, I focus on not hyperventilating. After a couple of minutes, I can hear Alice and Rayn outside and I go down the stairs, opening the doors for them. I flick my cigarette butt out of the door and pick Alice up, putting a finger over her mouth as she opens it to say something.
"Listen, beautiful, mommy got hurt when she was attacked by those nasty men in the park earlier, and she's feeling a bit forgetful, okay? So be nice to her for me." I try to smile as I hug her, but it shakes slightly.
"Mommy..." Gemme murmurs behind me. I jump slightly; I hadn't heard her come down after me. Alice nods and looks at her. I turn slightly so we can both see her.
"I could've stopped them!" She protests, "But mommy told me to get you. Was I good?"
"Yeah, beautiful, you were very good," I mutter, kissing her on the forehead. It was just me that fucked it all up. "We've gotta go home for a bit. Back to Newberry. Rayn can come if you want him to, though; I know somewhere he can stay if you want him around."
"Yeah! Can he?"
"Sure. As long as it's alright with mommy, of course," I turn to Gemme and whisper in her ear, "he's just a big kid, he won't get in the way."
"Yes, it's fine." She smiles shakily, putting a hand over her mouth. I kiss her on the cheek and smile back weakly.
"Rayn, you know people," surprisingly, "anyone round here got a car I can borrow?"
"You know how to persuade ‘em," he nods, "car dealer in the next town'll sell you a car for cheap." He might be a retard, but he's clever enough to know not to mention anything about drugs.
"That's not far from here. Up for a walk?" I ask Gemme.
"Okay." I sigh and try to smile.
"Rayn, you might wanna pack your clothes up. And write a note for the others." He nods and passes Gemme. When he's done, he brings our stuff down, too, sticking a note to the table. I shoulder my bag and Gemme takes hers and we walk off towards the next town.