What... just...happened? I can hardly comprehend the fact that Luca just did that. Oh... but I should go after him, yet I should apologise to Damien for his behaviour. Luca just tried to... I dunno what it was, sorta like raping him in a way... but he was more teasing him. I knew he was... I didn’t think it would get this far. Oh... “Damien, I’m so sorry.” Well someone has to apologise for Luca, because he won’t. I can feel the anger from Luca pulsing through me. I can feel the tiny sliver of fear from Damien.
He was breathing hard, I wasn’t sure why. It could be a number of reasons. A number of reasons I don’t want to think about. I shook my head as he spoke, "Don't be. I'm fine," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"Quite obviously not, come on, we'll go back downstairs, get Phil to give you a beer or something. I have someone I need to chase." I murmur, offering a hand out to him.
"I think I’m gonna need more than beer, Gemme," he said, pushing himself up and ignoring my hand.
I smile weakly, putting my hand back down by my side. "It's the best I can do,” well no, I can make him forget all about it. But if I kept cushioning their world they would never experience any real thrills. Although, I wouldn’t class this as a thrill...I don’t want him to forget. I want him to live through it and get stronger.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "don't worry about it... just go chase after him."
I pull him into a hug, "I'm so terribly sorry." I whispered again. Choking back tears, he hugged me back for a moment. "Oh... Damien..." I whispered, suddenly torn between the two people; the two conflicting emotions flowing through me, raging inside my mind.
"I'll be fine," he muttered, leaning back against the wall of the bus, "go on, I'll be alright."
"You're on the edge of tears, Damien. That's not alright." I looked at him, a genuine look of empathy on my face. Not one of those, ‘I know how you feel, but I’m just trying to make you feel better,’ faces. A genuine, ‘I know how you feel.’ In fact, right now I’m feeling how you feel.
"Just go, Gemme," he mumbled, closing his eyes. Oh but... Argh! I know Luca should take precedence, he’s my boyfriend. But, what he did... I just realised. I’m stood here, picking up the pieces for him again.
I looked to the stairs and back at him, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "I'm sorry." I whispered, grabbing his hand comfortingly.
"Don't be," he said, not returning the grip.
"Stay strong..." I whispered.
"I will, now go." I nodded, keeping hold of his hand as long as I could as I sprinted down the stairs, racing down the aisle.
“Open the doors. Now,” I growled as I neared the doors. I shot the driver a flaming glance and he did just that. “And, Phil, make sure Damien’s okay!” I bolted down the road, going as fast as I could. As I ran, I couldn’t help but feel that if I hadn’t have stayed behind, I could’ve been there by now. My legs began to burn as I saw him in the distance. Christ, to say he was walking he got quite far ahead, “Luca!” I called, as best I could despite the burning in my lungs.
He stopped and turned to see me. "What?" he yelled back.
I ran up to him and stopped, my hand on my thighs as I bent over, catching my breath for a moment. "You think that if you left... I wouldn't have come after you?" I asked, using his words.
The burning in my lungs and muscles tingled away as he spoke, "I just needed to walk. I wasn't running away or anything."
"Not the point." I smiled, looking up and nodding thanks, "I still wanted to be here I guess, give you someone to talk to."
"You know I don't do talking," he muttered, not smiling back as he began to walk again. Oh, great... I don’t know how to cheer Luca up. I don’t think I’ve ever done it before.
"But thinking is just as bad for you." I pointed out.
"I know... I wasn't really thinking, I was... just walking," he shrugged.
"Why're you walking away?" I asked, walking with him after watching him go off into the distance for a while.
"Sitting on the bus with him is hard enough as it is - I don't need to be a mind reader to know what he's thinking when he looks at me," he shuddered, well, I guess I know how bad it would be.
"I know but... why did you... was there any need to really taunt him like that?" To break him down and make him feels like nothing? To break him down to pieces and make me pick them up? He shrugged and I felt the urge to shout at him overwhelming, but I swallowed it. “It was harsh,” I whispered.
“So?” What d’ya means, ‘so?’ So, you were being an asshole Luca!
"He's a freak. It ain't natural," he spat and lit a cigarette.
"I didn't know you were a catholic,” I was raised like that, to believe that gays were horrible but... I never lived up to it. I never continued to believe.
"What's religion got to do with it?"
"Doesn't matter, so, what has he done, to you? What has he done to make you hate him?"
"He doesn't need to do anything."
"Why? He hasn't hurt you. He's done nothing against you. Why are you suddenly the God that decides what is right or wrong?"
"Hey, I'm not the only person in this world that thinks homos are wrong, y'know." I know and they’re all as bad as each other.
"No but right now, you're the only one that matters." The others aren’t destroying the relationship with their band and taunting my friends. I shook my head, stopping. “I didn’t know you were so short-minded.
He kept walking. "You knew. You just didn't want to admit to yourself that I'm a bastard, so you ignored it."
"You're right." I sighed, shaking my head I ran, pouncing on him from behind, my arms wrapping round his neck. And I'll continue to be oblivious. He laughed slightly, putting his arms under my legs to hold me up on his back. I smiled, "Because I love you."
"I love you too."