Weird. The hug is weird. Talking to Gemme is weird. Being told "that's the second time she's nodded off without a story. It's when she's with you, you're magic" is definitely weird.
See I kinda figured if I'd inherited the horrible temper from my dad, I'd have inherited his shitty parenting skills too. Or my mom's. They both did a terrible job of raising me - mind you, my mum didn't walk out when I was four. But apparently I'm not so bad with kids. So far.
Good old self doubt. How I loathe you. Fuck off and let me be happy with something for once.
"So, you coming to the hotel to ask the others, or...?" I trail off, not really needing to finish the question.
"I'd like to, if you don't mind."
"No, I don't mind, but I'll need a lift. I came in the van and they've gone already," not that it's a long walk to the hotel, but whatever.
"Sure, in fact, would you mind holding Alice...? When she's asleep she can't really control her movements when I'm driving and I don't want her getting hurt if I have to brake suddenly or something..." isn't that what seatbelts are for?
"Uh, yeah, okay." I shrug. Just as well I like the kid, really.
"I know I'm probably being stupid, but yeah..."
"S'ok," I mutter, getting in the back of the car with Alice. I pull her onto my lap and put the seatbelt over both of us, wrapping my arms around her little body. Gemme gets in and smiles at us in the rear view, reversing out of the parking lot. On the way back to the hotel, I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing. Why am I letting Gemme come on tour with us? With a kid?! This is so fucked up it feels like a dream, but the weight of Alice resting on my and the growl of the second rate engine of the car Gemme landed herself with are all too real to pass as a weird drug trip or a dream.
When we get back to the hotel, I unbuckle us and pick up Alice, carrying her with us into the hotel. I get us up to Phil's room and hope to fuck that they're not all off their heads yet.
I open the door and walk in, glad to see they're just jamming and talking. They look up at me, and do a double take as they see me holding Alice, her head resting on my shoulder and Gemme behind me.
"Hey," I say, laying Alice down on the bed gently, sitting beside her.
"Umm, hello," Gemme smiles awkwardly, standing near the door still. I glance up at her.
"D'ya know when we need to be back in New York?" I ask Damien and he glances at Gemme and Alice and then Phil.
"Next week, why?"
"I was just wondering if Gemme and Alice could tag along," I shrug.
"You sure that's a good idea? I mean Alice is just a kid," Phil says doubtfully.
"She'll be fine. But it's up to you as well." Rayn looks at me, speechless. Yes, this is the most fair I've been since we met Phil and Damien. I think me asking them has come as a shock to everyone.
"Well... I guess it'd be okay while we're in the studio still at least. I'm not so sure about the touring, though..." Phil shrugged.
"You worried about the drugs?" Gemme queries. Phil nods. "Don't be, I'll always keep her away when you're smoking, snorting or injecting. I don't know which you guys prefer." He looks kinda surprised, but shrugs it off.
"I guess, if that's okay with you, then."
"Well, it's really your choice, hence why I'm here. I'm fine with it."
"Cool, well as long as you can cope with Cancer, I guess I don't see any problem with it," he looks around at Rayn and Damien. They both shrug in agreement.
"Don't worry." She looks at me and smiles, "I think I can deal with Luca just fine."
"Luca?" Damien asks curiously, looking at me too. OH yeah. Phil and Damien don't know my real name. I nod and lift Alice again.
"That would be me." I mutter, walking to the door. "I'll see you guys later."
"Alright... see ya."
We walk down to the car park and when we get to the car I ask "is it alright if I stay at yours for the night?"
"Of course," Gemme nods, "any reason why?" I smile tiredly, getting in the back of the car with Alice on my lap again.
"Fed up of hotels," I say, buckling us in.
"Well my house sort of turned into an inn after you left, well, until Alex messed the place up." She sighs, getting into the car and clicking her seatbelt in.
"There's something to be said for a familiar bed, though. We're kinda skint, so we stay in shit hotels with shit beds." I mumble, my eyes sliding shut as I hug Alice to me.
"Don't tell me I'm gonna have to carry you both in." She laughs and I smile.
"You might have to, but you can use my power for that, I guess," I yawn. She sighs, "Then, good night Luca."
"Mmm, night," I manage to mutter before I fall asleep, for the first time in a while dreamlessly.