Oh good, so Gemme's back, wants to see me again and gave me a note. I s'pose I never did tell her I can't really read. I'm getting better though, Rayn writes down all our lyrics and I've been pretty much forced to learn how to read better.
Still takes me a while, though.
I go back inside and sit on the edge of the stage, pulling the note out of my pocket. I can't help but be curious. What was so important she felt the need to sneak backstage to see me?
Unfolding the paper, I stare at the words on the page in the dim light. Irritated, I glance at the light switch and make it flick up, wincing at the sudden flood of brightness. When I recover, I try again and squint at the words. It's only two lines, c'mon. It can't be that hard.
I recognize a few of the words quicker than the others. After a while, I understand all the words on the paper and... I don't like it. My face falls and I drop the paper, scooting away from it, across the stage.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sorry to say, I still love you."
Suddenly, I regret trying so hard to understand the writing.
This just went from the best gig so far, to the worst.
After a moment, I pick up the note, scrunch it into a tiny ball and burn it in my hand, healing the blistering on my palm. I tip the ash onto the floor and get up, trying to keep my memories behind the walls. Gemme is with Emily now. She's dead to me.
Dead to me.
Gone, buried, finished, history, past.
She is nothing.
I sigh and push my hair back, walking back into the dressing room. Without a word to anyone, I snort another line of coke, wait for it to take effect and then grab Kat, pulling her up off the sofa. She giggles at me and wraps her arms around me.
"Now, where were we?" She murmurs in my ear and I try to smile. Damien winks at me and I drag Kat out into the hall, taking her back to our trailer. Yeah, that's right. I've reverted to trailer life.
Kat doesn't care as long as she thinks I'm hers.
She babbles all the way to the trailer and when I open the door, I push her in roughly, and throw her down on the bed, unbuttoning my jeans.
"Shut up and fuck me," I growl, tearing her leggings off. She shuts up, grinning up at me as I move down on her.
Later on, me and Rayn go to a bar, chilling while Phil and Damien do their thing. I don't even know what they get up to, to be honest. Does that make me a bad friend?
According to Rayn, the trailer rocks when I'm fucking Kat.
"Thanks, man. I'll keep that one in mind," I laugh, draining my glass. I'll make sure I don't use the trailer when I'm fucking someone that isn't Kat, at any rate.
"At least we know not to disturb you," he winks, ordering another drink. I don't say anything, just smiling, eyeing up the barmaid.
"Can I help you?" she asks tiredly, noticing me staring.
"Possibly." I smirk.
"What d'ya want?"
"A little help with my problem down south?" I ask innocently. She walks over to me, angry now, until she sees my face properly.
"Oh my god!" she squeals, "Cancer!" No, I don't know her, but she's been to a few of the shows, and she's hot.
"The one and only, baby," I grin. Rayn laughs slightly and I nudge him, pointing at a girl on the other side of the bar staring at him. He waves and the girl turns to her mate.
"Wow, I- I get my break in twenty minutes, can you wait? Only the boss is about tonight," she looks around, as if expecting her boss to walk into sight and yell at her.
"Fuck your boss. Meet me out the back in five minutes," I turn away, not giving her a chance to argue. As I push my way through the room to the door, I see a blonde head turn, the hair cut identical to Gemme's. For a second, I think it is her, until she turns around and I see her face.
I think my heart just stopped.
She's nothing. She doesn't love me, she hates me, and she is nothing to me.
Fuck you, Gemme. Why d'ya have to come back just as my life is becoming bearable?