Gemme: Realisation.Mature

I left then. There was someone I had to talk to. I walked downstairs, my hand reaching into my pocket for my phone. I slide it open, punching in the numbers as they reeled from my head. “Hey, Benny?” I asked. my voice soft and strange as I spoke down the handset. My heart jumped slightly as I heard his voice on the other end.

“Gemme!” He called, making me wince slightly as I held the handset a little way from my ear.

"I miss you so much, umm... when are you next in America?" I asked, looking out the window to check where Luca was. He was sat outside, it was okay.

"I miss you too, babe.” Babe, he obviously had no girlfriend then. “I dunno when I was next gonna come back. Why? Cancer being a twat?" Oh, I suppose that was understatement. But he didn’t need to know.

"The usual, fight, live, question everything you thought you knew." I sighed, "how's Africa?"

"Hot. I've spent the last month unofficially on a charity project helping build a school," I didn’t take him for a charity guy. But, I suppose you learn something new every day. I walked up and down the aisle casually.

"Oh, cool! I wish I was there, I've always wanted to see Africa."

"Take a break from touring? Must be driving you insane, living in a bus with a bunch of idiots"

"You have no idea; one of them is gay and uhm... Well, Luca sorta slept with him when he was high. It's tearing everything apart."

"...Cancer fucked a guy?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Wow" He laughed, "just how high was he?"

"'Enough coke to kill a horse,'" I quoted with a sigh, "he just won't trust me to go out with anyone alone. He says he does but, I'm not sure... I just, I needed to talk to you."

"It's just his fucked up, possessive way of caring, babe. He knows he's a dick and he's scared you'll find someone that isn't a dick and leave him"

"If I wasn't a zodiac though, I'd be dead. I'm scared too."

"What did he do?" He asked, his voice was strained.

"I- I only went out for a drink with someone. He slammed me against the wall and cracked my head open, I'm okay though. Then, he went and slept with Damien and thinks everything's okay. It's not. I don't want to leave but..." I whispered the next part, "I just can't stay."

"Then take a break. Come out to Africa with me," he suggested and right now it sounded like the greatest idea in the world. I could hear people talking in a foreign language behind him, but even so it seemed peaceful.

"But he'll flip, I know he will!"

"Probably, but what can he do?" Well, just in case he forgot...

"Uh... lifts objects with his mind? Control the body of a human being? He's quite powerful you know..."

"He loves you, Gemme. He wouldn't have meant to hurt you. Just make sure you tell him you're leaving and get out of there while he's not high." But then, it makes me seem like I’m running away. I suppose I am.

"But what about Alice? She loves me like a mother and him like a father..."

"Bring her with you. You can hardly leave her with him."

"He would never hurt her." I stated, a little too coldly.

"No point risking it,” and suddenly I didn’t like him again. If it was something he wouldn’t do, was hurt Alice.

"Well, I suppose I should go talk to him." I sighed, "Love you Benny."

"Love you too, babe. Good luck."

"Thanks" I hung up, walking over to Luca who was sat in the car park on one of the fold-out chairs we had in the bus. "Luca? We need to talk." He was practicing guitar, not that he needed to. He had the soul of a musician. "I've been talking to Benny, he invited me to Africa."

"...and?"

"I dunno, I don't think I can leave you without you destroying yourself."

"Why does Benny want you in Africa with him anyways?" He looked at me, I knew he was suspicious. Now that I thought about it, I would be too.

"I don't know. I didn't ask,” he sighed.

He stopped playing, "He just randomly invited you." His brow raised as I finally looked up at him.

"I told him... my problem."

"...Problem."

"I want to leave, but I want to stay."  He was a little dubious, his memory flickered back to what happened last time and I understood. "I know, I know, but... I don't know what to do! I miss him, but I can't leave you... but I just feel like we're not the same as we used to be. It's even been weeks since we last... you know."

"Well if its sex you want, I'm more than happy to help you out there.” He began to play again, a short smirk on his face.

"It's not just that, but yeah. I feel as if you're always looking elsewhere. Like you'd rather be with someone else." He frowned a little and it was my turn to raise my brow.

"Why would I want to be anywhere else?"

"You tell me. You tell me why you still sleep with others while I'm here. I don't see how I stay loyal and don't sleep with anyone yet you can."

His guitar string snapped and I jumped slightly. "It was a mistake," he muttered through gritted teeth.

"And it also explains why you won't touch me, of course." He forced himself to stay still, his foot twitched.

"What?" I asked a little accusingly.

"What have I done now? I made a mistake! I'm sorry!"

I spotted Damien and stood back a little, "It's nothing." He was confused, and his arms bristled. I stopped, turning sharply. "I don't want to fight you Luca! I just want someone who can care for me."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm trying?"

"I want you to actually do something though!" I paused, remembering what Benny said. He said nothing and I sighed. “Oh Luca, I’m sorry. I just... I’m just a little insecure. Never mind,” I murmured, sitting on the ground opposite him. At that moment, as I looked at his solemn face I just wanted to hold him close. I didn’t want a break, or Africa. I wanted Luca. I wanted the beach, the truth or dare, those wonderful times when he played and then came backstage to hold me. I sighed and stood; walking over to him I placed his guitar on the floor and sat on his lap.

“I’m so sorry, I’m here. I’m not ever going to leave you,” I muttered, kissing his cheek softly before resting my head against his chest.

The End

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