It was so hard to ignore the images he was remembering, so hard to block everything out. But, when I finally walked downstairs I froze. I felt angry, uncontrollably angry, I felt as though my blood was boiling over and I couldn’t breathe. My cheeks were hot. My whole body was hot and I was ready to kill somebody. I looked to Kieran sat at the table. No, not him. But, he shouldn’t stay here in case Cancer wakes up and decides to reap some revenge. I’ll deal with him later.
As much as I hate it, I listen in to Cancer’s unconscious. I pinpoint the room it happened and walk toward it. I almost run toward it. My strides were long and full of rage. My rage finally let out after years of bottling it up. I reached the door and knocked, I tried my best to keep it calm, to maintain the element of surprise. But my face just wouldn’t relax. I was uncontrollably angry. I mentioned that before right?
The door was opened a little and Damien peered at me through the little slit. I smiled as best I could. “Uhm, excuse me? Have I left my watch in here? I’ve looked everywhere,” this, of course, is a lie. I don’t wear a watch nor have I ever. Also, why would I look for it at five in the morning? He closed the door and informed me that he was looking for it. I snuck in. Silently. I closed the door behind me. Silently. I observed him with a disgusted look.
He was looking for his clothes, not my ‘watch’ so seeing him in his most primal form just made me want to be sick. I snarled. “Damien caught red-handed as it were,” my tone deepened and rose in pitch. I put my hands in my pockets and clenched them into fists. My eyes clouded over with rage, my face darkened.
He twisted round sharply, his face red and wide with shock. “What?”
"Don't think I don't know. I do. I know everything," I let a twisted smile form on my face; "I tried to be nice to you. I tried to care. You blew it all up in my fucking face!” He tried to act innocent, disgusting person. I reminded him of his predicament and still he pretended as if he had done nothing wrong.
"I was off my fucking face less than an hour ago, being naked doesn't mean anything!"
"Well let me refresh your memory you goddamn slut,” I pushed him harshly against the wall. “It's not just your clothes in here. Cancer's are here too!" He sniffled, as if he was crying. As if he was showing some regret or remorse. Pathetic. "I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!" I growled, "Why do you have to destroy everything!?" I punched my fist into the wall next to his head, making the thin wall crack and tremble.
“I didn’t do anything!” He whimpered, I didn’t believe a word.
"Oh really? You've done plenty. From the whole time I've known you you've cased nothing but trouble!” You stupid, lying fag!
"He was high! He came in here begging for it!" I slammed my fist into the same place again, watching the plaster crumble from the wall. He was lying, I knew it! I could smell it on him; he stinks of lies, sex and deceit. The cheating... Argh!
"So you do remember!" My hand clasped round his neck, it would be so easy. I know it would be, 'an accident' could I? Right now, I could and make it happen so, so easily. "You could've said NO!" I shouted my breathing uneven.
"Have you ever tried saying no to him when he's like that?" He was panicking, he was sweating. That’s good. "It was a mistake on both our parts."
"Yes! I've denied him more than once! You're just a pathetic slut!" My hand tightened. "I hate you! I hate you!" I screamed in his face, revelling in the twisted fear on his face. Unlike Cancer, he wasn’t built strongly. Sure, he had muscles, but he wasn’t strong. Rag doll.
“Then you’re stronger than me,” he choked, his words fragmented as he spluttered. “Congrats.”
I shouted wordlessly, flinging his pathetic naked form to the floor. "You just can't stay away can you? You can't leave well enough alone." I brought my boot down hard on his stomach and snarled. "I'm not going to kill you now. You may die later though." He cried out and doubled up, his breathing was ragged as he took each pained breath and he brought his arms around to comfort himself. "Bastard," I murmured as I walked off back to the bus. I would say I was happy with myself, but I just felt like Cancer. Like he'd taken over for a brief moment.
I opened the doors to the coach and woke Kieran, my face still twisted with rage. "Wake up, you.” I said, as softly as I could at the present moment. He did so rather quickly and looked up at me. “You might want to leave, I suggested. He took one look at my face and nodded, gathered up his bloody top and ran off. I sat at the table and banged my head sharply against its cold surface. And a part of me there, wanted Damien to die. Only a small portion wanted Kieran to find him.