Flipped My Lid

Now this is one of my wackier ones. Not so much scary as it was ridiculous and a trifle depressing. Brace yourself! 

Mom and dad and I were staying in a haunted hotel of some kind. There was more to this but it disappeared as I woke. One of the ghosts I believe was an old woman, and the other wasn't a human spirit. Something else. They weren't malevolent, just mischievous, messing and poking at us while we tried to sleep.

Eventually we prepared to leave and on the way out met up with a man who was kind of a jerk. Not a bad person, just cranky. He talked a lot in a voice that was both annoyed and annoying and wore a tan suede jacket. He may have been the owner or manager of the hotel.

After we were done talking with him we got in the car and left. It was night, the road was dark, and suddenly out of nowhere we HIT something!

Getting out of the car, I realized we collided with the man we were just talking to. How could he have gotten here this quickly? Impossible! He must have run out in front of the car and it was so dark we couldn't see him. And he was dead.  Great.  Just great.

Then all the sudden his remains didn't make any sense.

He was now a pile of half-mangled custard (or banana creme) pie, complete with a crust, cream filling, and whipped topping.

 I didn't dare eat it, because wouldn't that be cannibalism? We were going to be in serious trouble for this.

We were on the run for murdering this man even though it wasn't our intention. Then I was alone somewhere until I met up with my friend Lacy, who was acting unusual towards me. At first she was neutral and somewhat cold, and later on she became hostile, even so far as trying to physically attack me. WTF....

Then, since our parents had disappeared as people often do in dreams, we were guided by someone to a place, part library part pizza hut part hotel room. (yeah, makes perfect sense doesn't it) divided into many small rooms with generic beds, night tables, and of course pizza hut themed wall paper and carpet.

After winding our way through this maze of furniture and books we saw a lady toward the back, hunched over at a desk that had seen better days and typing at a computer with messy piles of paper at either side.  She seemed to be a secretary, probably in her mid thirties, with black hair kept in a ponytail, glasses, and a formal-looking maroon and pink dress.

I don't remember what she said when she noticed us, but it seemed to be along the lines of "wait here for a while."

Halfway through this I began to flip my lid. Despair hit me from bizarre angles as the reality of being on the run and universally reviled for running over a man and turning him into a giant slice of pie set in. But wait a minute; wasn't dad driving?  I was in the backseat for crying out loud! Soon Lacy was actively despising me as though taking on some radical personality change. 

Now we were walking through a long, wide hallway in perhaps a school and Lacy was getting really hostile. I was crying and demanding to know what the hell I did. How could my best friend treat me like this? 

Much of this was conveyed in words that were perfectly clear during the dream but of course they went poof when I woke up and got distracted by the cat sitting on my chest and yowling.

Then some other stuff happened. It was likely just as weird. Then we were at the pizza hut/hotel/library and I felt abandoned.

And the last scene of the dream I recall with relative clarity. I had pulled off some kind of body surfing operation. (happens a lot in these head excursions and essentially means switching roles or becoming an observer) Now I was in Lacy's POV, in a large gourmet kitchen, chopping away with a butcher knife at a small green lizard with bulging (and I mean BULGING) yellow cartoonish eyes. It had mottled, slimy pulpy skin, like rotten fruit. It was quick and alternated between hiding behind the fridge and darting across the floor, always in a circular or oval pattern.

Every time I succeeded in chopping it with the knife, it would grow back in seconds, leaving piles of gunk on the floor. It took patience but I eventually cornered, picked it up, held it against the counter, and chopped it from tail to head as though slicing up a cucumber. Those massive eyeballs ruptured, killing the thing. Ah, its weak point was the eyes.

I was also aware this lizard used to be a person. Yikes!

Then someone began pounding on the door. Whoever it was did not come here for a nice chat and a bun. I/Lacy was tired of seeing men get turned into pie and all the other odd things that unfolded and was going to take action and become a demon slayer. Maybe that's what was behind all this nonsense?

So naturally the first thing one must do is consume part of a demon and absorb its poison to build up an immunity, which resulted in the pulpy green carnage splattered all over the kitchen.

With more than a little disgust, holding it over the trash can as if preventing more demon-lizard gore from spilling actually made a difference, I hastened to shear off bits of the lizard with the knife and put it in an eyedropper. I ate little and it tasted awful, but when it was finally down, I felt I was ready to fight whoever waited on the other side of the door. That's all I remember.

When I told my parents about this dream, they were more than a little bit creeped out.  Jeez. Rather mild compared to the other ones. Right?

Uhh...right?

 

The End

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