I need to do research about concussions. How they act, what happens to the person when they get them. I know that their pupils are dilated and that they're nauseous, is that all there is? Do they have a headache, too? Do they feel stiff?
I've always wondered why when they have accidents they put people in a neck brace. Is it because they might have hurt their spines?
I am so afraid of dying alone. That almost happened to me in Texas just a couple of weeks ago. I was broadsided by an oncoming car. I was fine, but if she was going any faster, I could have been killed. If I was the passenger I could have been severely injured. If she hit me on the driver's side, I could have been killed, too.
Then what would have happened to me? Stuck in Texas, 3000 miles away from home, in the hospital…an out of network hospital, by the way…It struck me just recently how alone I really am.
I am a widow, a single parent, a cancer survivor. I'm also a writer. My day job is a trainer in computer programming for a large corporation. I have no boyfriends, no significant others, no nothing else in my life. Not for wanting that - I'm not a clubber, or an OKCupid kind of girl, or match.com, either. I don't hang out in laundromats or go to city council meetings. I put myself out there and hope things come to me.
This is why I will never make a good writer. I tell my story and hope, just hope, that someone reads it. I don't go promote it. I don't tell people about it. I hope that somebody picks it up and looks at it, reads it, and decides to pass it on. I'm not a promoter of myself or my work.
According to an editor I heard online, this is what makes a good writer great. Not the prose, not just the story, but the ability to promote, to go out and sell yourself. And this is something I cannot - and probably will not - do.
I am not out there. I'm very much in here.