So my mind’s having trouble processing everything at the
moment, so why don’t I back up.
My eyes blacked out, and I couldn’t feel myself
breathing. To me, that made me believe I was dead… finally… this awful life was
at its end. Unfortunately, I woke up in the hospital, feeling much better than
before. Claudia was there, and immediately hugged me tightly. My silent cries
of ‘gently!’ must have fallen on deaf ears.
“I can’t believe it… oh my God, Lionel!” she said, a
single tear streaming down her face. What did they have to be happy or worried
about? I tried to kill myself…
Her surprise and joy soon turned into a kiss, and that’s
when Daniel entered. Soon after, my hospital room became very empty and lonely.
If only I could get my hands on another knife, I would
try again to cause my demise, and that time I wouldn’t miss. I survived through
the whole ordeal… unbelievable. I just proved that I was too pathetic to even
kill myself. Are you kidding me!? That’s how low I’ve fallen over the years?
Sighing, I fell back into my bed. Everything was going
like I didn’t want it to be… I lived, and Claudia was happy with my presence.
That’s the opposite of what I had anticipated… and Daniel too, he was there.
People cared for me… was I wrong? No… no I wasn’t. The bad in the world
outweighed the good.
I was becoming increasingly lonely… I knew that I wanted
to kill myself… but I think all I needed now was someone to talk to. Someone to
let go of my thoughts towards. Claudia never, never worked… Daniel was the only
thing on her mind.
I heard someone running down the hallway outside towards
my position. A shout was directed at this entity, but it must have been
ignored. I turned at my doorway to see Charles Franklin Dascher burst in, his
face stained with fear.
“My God, Lionel, you’re alright!” he shouted, rushing
over to my side.
I nodded weakly. “Looks like it”.
“You… you bloody scared me, mate. From what I heard, you
were a lost case!” he exclaimed.
“It’s… good to see you too, Charles” I replied.
It was obvious to him that something was bothering me.
His facial expression demanded an explanation, so I delivered one.
“Okay… I tried to kill myself… but it ended up that I was
alive… the opposite of what I wanted. Now I’m stuck in this life… again! I
can’t, and will not, show my face in public anymore. I’d be ridiculed for being
the kid that was so stupid he couldn’t manage to kill himself”.
Charles shook his head furiously. “You don’t understand,
mate. People at school aren’t laughing about it, but they’re pretty rocked up
in their world… even that big fellow and his lady… it’s not every day a suicide
happens or is attempted… nobody’s even talking about it”.
That was certainly odd. I would’ve thought someone like
Craig would be boasting about pushing me to such drastic measures, but
apparently he wasn’t too excited about it.
“I need to talk to somebody Charles… somebody” I said, my
voice straining for using it frequently after stabbing myself. “There’s a lot
at my mind at this point”.
He sat down beside me, preparing to listen. “I’m right by
your side… always” he said, nodding. That made me wonder where my ‘wingman’
Daniel was at this hour.
“I tried to end this pitiful life I exist in… and I
failed”. I almost started to cry. “To think I can’t even kill myself… that
means something. It can’t be true, yet it is… I wanted to die, but I’m forced
to live. Charles, what does that mean exactly?”
He took a deep breath. “People aren’t perfect… this is a
simple fact of life. More than one time in your life… in anybody’s life… there
will be an individual that will cause you some pain. There’s really only one
thing to do be roll through it”.
“That’s the thing… I can’t get through it. It’s not
possible to not get past the obstacles of life… I’ve learned that”.
“You can get through life without committing suicide
after every time a bloke runs you down, ok? It’s hard, granted, but you’ve got
to deal with it”.
“Charles, you don’t understand what my life has been! All
that has happened so far is tragedy! Nothing… nothing works out for me! Nothing
is meant to work out for me! What have I gained, Charles… not a single thing.
Charles motioned for me to calm down. “Please, let’s keep
this a little tuned down, alright mate? I know, life sucks, that’s how it is,
“Life is dreadful!” I exploded. “It may be good for you,
but realize this… that’s for you. I have three friends in the whole entire
world… and even then, I can’t always trust two of them!”
“If this is about losing Samantha, there’s a person for-“
“No!” I interrupted him. “There is no one out there for
me! Claudia doesn’t know… she never knew!”
“What?” he asked the obvious question.
“What do you think!?”
“Well, I haven’t-“
“Because I love her!” I yelled at him, my fist raised to
drive my point home. I settled down, the words having finally left my mouth. “I
was hopelessly… still am… in love with her…”
Charles suddenly sat up and backed up towards the doorway.
“You haven’t told her… not yet?” he questioned me. I nodded, causing Charles to
nearly run out of the room. With a calling of ‘wait!’ he came back inside.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked him
incredulously. “Didn’t you just get here?”
Charles jumped up and down rapidly, laughing as he did
so. “You said there’s someone for everyone, aye? She doesn’t know you truly,
honest-to-God love her! You can’t tell her, but somebody can!”
“I’ll put in a good word for you, mate! I’ll go track
Claudia down, believe me, she’ll came running back for you!”
“No she won’t!”
“I don’t think you understand. I’ll be back soon!”
Charles called as he bounded out of the room. My shouts did nothing to turn him
back around. A nurse came in hurriedly with a nervous expression on her face.
“Are you feeling satisfactory, Mr. Stephens?” she asked
me. I nodded slowly, then beckoned for her to leave.
Charles was my friend, not doubt about it… but if he was
going to talk to Claudia… she’ll get the wrong idea, or just not understand… as
always. She never knew me… she thought she did, but no… they’re all wrong about
me. Nobody knows me.
I laid back in my bed and tried to go to sleep.
Precipitation began to pound against the sole window in the room, causing me
much distress and not giving me the peace I desired. I needed a little down
time… it was like I never got the chance to kick back and relax sometimes.
The curiosity of life certainly persisted throughout the
day. Having finally gotten around to sleep, I woke up to an incredibly weird
I sat up in my bed, stretching and yawning. I glanced
over at the clock that was positioned next to me. It was midnight… meaning I
had slept through most of the daylight hours.
When I looked over on my right-hand side, that’s when I
saw the oddities.
Charles was in a deep slumber in the one chair resting in
the room. Daniel had somehow fallen asleep while leaning against the wall.
Claudia was lying down on the cold, hard floor. What the heck?
“Guys!” I shouted, waking them all up suddenly. They all
looked as bewildered as me.
“Just wondering… I’ve got a rather important question…
what are you all doing here?”