Fly Me to the Moon – Frank Sinatra

Fly me to the moon and let me sing among the stars.”  The song coming from the mouth of the lounge singer rang through my ears. I liked the song, but listening to a singer was not why I was at the lounge to begin with. I was there to finish a deal with mob guy. He wanted someone dead and told me to bring him his head, so I did. The head in question was sitting in a cloth bag on the floor next to me. Blood had stained the bottom of the bag.

The flirtatious waitress walked by yet again for the fifth time since my arrival. The ugly toad was late.

“Um, can I get you another virgin daiquiri or something with a little more kick maybe?” The waitress asked.

“No, I will stick with the virgin daiquiris. I don’t care for alcohol that much and I quit smoking,” I replied trying not to show annoyed impatience.

“Okay, and um I was wondering did you want to maybe go out some time?”

“No, thank you,” I said.

I really did not want to get involved with this chick.

“Oh, well, it seems good looking guys are jerks after all and here I was going to give my body to you, humph,” the waitress snorted.

Before I could reply, she stomped away, fuming. That’s what always happened when I refused cute girls.

Then the bonehead finally arrived. it was about time. He sat down across from me like he had all the time in the world.

“You’re late.” I gave him a hard glare.

“Sorry, had a business meeting to get to.”

Then the waitress, seeing the new guy walked over to take his order.

“What’ll you have?”

“A scotch on the rocks.”

“Sure, so this is why you refused me. You had to be gay to refuse me,” the waitress sneered.

The idiot across from me busted out laughing. The waitress looked vastly confused.

“Didn’t you say your mother warned you about people mistaking you for the wrong gender?” The idiot asked still laughing slightly.

“Yes,” I grumbled.

“Oh, you are a woman. Those clothes make you appear to be a guy,” the waitress gasped, “Sorry for the mistake.”

Then she trotted off to do her work.

The idiot continued laughing. The deal was finalized, but only after he calmed down.

The End

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