15 rules to being Kitkat.

1.       You can’t eat what you want. Nothing after eight in the evening, and drink nothing but water.


2.       Disobey the previous rule – alcohol is mandatory.


3.       There must be a packet of mints in any bag being used, preferably Polos.


4.       Skipping beats running and walking beats both. One good walk per week, at least.


5.       Injustice is never acceptable, but neither are grudges.


6.       Hypocrisy is unavoidable. Embrace it.


7.       Lying is always avoidable, and never ends up anywhere good. Avoid it.


8.       Never finish anything when you say you are going to. This includes getting ready. If you have to be ready in five minutes, take ten.


9.       You don’t have to hide when you cry, it’s good for you. Let it out.


10.   Love. And if you can’t love, hate. Whatever you feel, do it with a passion.


11.   It doesn’t count as making a fool of yourself if you’re having fun.


12.   There doesn’t appear to be a connection between studying Theatre and being particularly good at communicating...


13.   Any regime that promotes wellbeing must be dismissed after a maximum of a week’s enthusiastic trial.



14.   Don’t forgive, don’t forget. This rule breaks Rule 5 in compliance with Rule 6.


15.   If whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, you always have the niggling feeling that you’re wasting your time and you should be working... then you’ve nailed being Kitkat.

The End

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