As this week has progressed, I have realized this season in my life is a "Come what may" season. Things will come, and I should learn to embrace their difficulties because I can't do anything about it. I can't control it. I can't be perfect.
During this week, I really began to look back on the past couple of months.
I haven't seen my Dad since April. I just turned 16. He didn't call, send me a message, or anything. After my amazing party, I cried some tears in the bathroom, Tavie next to me, comforting me. It helped, but I still feel the hurt.
He still justifies his actions, and hasn't apologized for hurting us. He never admitted (or doesn't remember admitting) to drug use. I try tell myself I don't care, I don't need him. But it would help to have a father.
I haven't hurt myself in a while. Ever since the covenant. Tavie hasn't either and I'm so thankful for her. She always seem to have the right things to say to calm me down. She was my first really good best friend. I'm so thankful to God for her.
So that's why my title is Father to the Fatherless. I don't have a Dad. So God is my daddy. I still am tempted to hurt myself, but I just give it to God. Its hard, but its the only thing to do.
Thoughts of hope, fear, sadness, and disappointment filled my mind as we continued to pack.
But come what may.