April 2011 - July 2011
I saw Dad one last time. It was at Abraham's 10th birthday party. He needed a ride home and had acted weird during the party, so we refused to bring him home. Mr. Benedick came by and picked him up and brought him home. Bless his heart, he stayed with Dad till 2 am, listening to him rant. Mr. Benedick had worked all day then had to listen to that? God bless him.
Mom and I went to New York in May, and I started to feel again. The boys were being watched my our friends, taking turns. Dad broke into the house right as we were boarding the plane. I knew my Mom so wanted to go, but she was torn. She went with us after she had sorted out what went on at home.
The boys and our friend took the cat and they slept over at her house. That night, Scott had a breakdown in the bathroom. I could hear him over the phone, crying and yelling. I shed some tears in the city that never sleeps, then had a great time. I knew the boys were safe with our friends.
I stood on top of the Empire State building and felt wonderment. And I felt happy. I was surrounded by people who cared about me and were interested in getting to know me.
Never ever wish you didn't have feelings, never take them for granted. They are truly a gift from God. I love my feelings and embrace them wholeheartedly now. I still don't like fear though.
I started to get to really know the other girls, especially a girl named Tavie. She was the cutest little thing ever. She is 5 foot, redish/blond hair, bright blue eyes, and happy go lucky. She would help me get through some of the worst times. She's now my best friend, and someone I know I can be real with. I can tell her anything, and take off the mask
After New York it was summer. I hung out with Tavie every week, and we had a great time. I didn't see Dad at all that summer.
I went to Fiji for a missions trip in July, and I felt out of place. Everybody who went was in public school and disgusting. I loved the trip though. It was amazing.
I came home and continued to live. I started to feel hurt that Dad was being like this. Why wouldn't he just get help? He needed help.