Saturday, September 17, 2012
By this point I felt zombie like. Living each day, one at a time. Its all we could do. I missed my poor kitty, knowing she was probably getting hungry.
My Mom had talked to my Grandma Mae, my dad's mother, who had been taking care of him. She admitted he needed help. A long term treatment program. She said he was still angry and rude. He called his sister at 2 am about moving in with her.
Mom also talked to the elder who wanted us to write the letters. Now he wanted us to see Dad. Mom felt very uncomfortable with it, because we would be practically bait. We didn't want to see him at all, we were very scared of him by this point. We all had one thought residing in our minds, the fact Dad might bring a gun to the meeting, shoot us and himself, saying we would all be together in heaven.
Dad that day had apparently read our letters. His sister went over there, he opened the door for her, and the cat escaped outside again. He said some choice words, and tried to get her back inside. Amongst all that, I felt a feeling of satisfaction that I could maybe get him to do what I wanted through my influence.
I remember being very scared. I remained scared for a long time after that. Fear is a terrible bondage, it doesn't allow a person to ability to think or live