Wednesday, September 15, 2011
We went to our class today. On our way to class Mom said she had something to tell us after class. Mom had called our teacher and told her some of our story. Without questions our teacher moved the location of our coop from her church to her home. I was nervous the entire class. Our teacher didn't require much from me, which I was happy about. I couldn't pay attention. What was it Mom needed to tell us? After class was over I jumped into the car and demanded to know what it was. She spoke slowly, deliberating in her mind whether she really wanted to tell us.
"Your dad tested positive for drugs."
Something within me died while another part of me wasn't surprised. It explained everything. It explained why he was so biopolar in his moods over the past 5 years. It explained why he had fallen. It explained why he had acted all together weird.
It explained why he fell, from what we pieced together he had tried a new kind of drug. His brain was foggy, so he fell down the stairs. He kept taking the drug, because he had hit his ribs. Which made his brain hurt more.
He tested positive to drugs the day all this happened, and Tuesday. The doctors gave him pamphlets. It was not like marijuana, or anything like that. But under the counter drugs. Drugs to make him happy and to sleep. But these drugs had side-effects. Like rage, sadness, and suicidal tendencies. He was trying to use Goldenseal to flush it out of his system before anybody could catch him.
I told my mom about the camera bag in the backyard. My mom called my Grandma and told her to look. It wasn't there anymore she said.
He had a meeting with one of the elders of the church, but it was cancelled because he couldn't hold a conversation.
Mom got a call from a police officer saying that Dad had tried to report us missing.
The world was falling apart, and no matter what I did, I couldn't hold it together.
But I sure tried.