Lost

Racing from Alex's house I felt the tears pouring down my face. How could he be so cold? Yeah, maybe I shouldnt judge the parents that I'd never known so harshly but what reason did I have to not.

Also, to tell me to grow up? I'd lost my parents. I'd spent 7 months with a broken leg. Didnt he care about me at all? He kissed me! The thought now made me sick to the pits of my stomach. How could I let that happen? I made a vow that I wouldnt get close to anyone on that level after my parents died. I'd failed already. Did I have no resistance what so ever?

I cant believe Alex thought my birth parents would have an excuse to dump me in a box. A box?!? I mean seriously? How could that make them good people? No one should do that no matter what.

*

I got up feeling grodgy the next morning. I washed and got dressed stumbling out into the bright sunshine. I froze on the door step. Stood across the road was Alex with a girl in his arms. His head was lowered down to hers there lips pressed together. Her arms hang loosely round his neck but she presses her body to his. I truly then feel sick. I turn and race back inside rushing into the kitchen. Melda watches in shock and I throw up this morning breakfast into the sink.

"Oh gosh, Elle" Melda says rushing over and holding up my trembling body. "Lets get you back to bed. You cannot go to school"

I dont think I could take one step outside. I let Melda take me back upstairs. Let her usher me back into my pjarmes and tuck me up in bed. I curl in on myself hugging my stomach. Tears are streaming down my face. Oh god, not only have I had my heart wripped from my chest but I've also let a taken guy kiss me?

That just makes me feel like a piece of filth. Why would he even want to cheat on her? She's absolutely gorgeous. Long blond curls hanging down past her shoulder. Perfectly tanned skin.

I'm no match with my pale skin and auburn curls that hang loose and over my eyes. Gosh, I dont stand even a chance. I pull my quilt tighter around me being silent when Melda brings in water and fruit putting it on my side table.

She leaves me to sleep but I don't sleep... how can I sleep? I cant get the damn image of Alex kissing that girl out of my head. He fricking had a girlfriend! How could he kiss me? Why did he kiss me?

*

I shuffle out into the sunshine head down. I walk down the path slowly. Getting into town I see him across the road. Our eyes meet and I yank my gaze away beginning to walk towards town quicker. I'd skipped school all last week. I'd been forced out of the house today to get food. I did argue about it with Melda trying to play the sick card again but it wasnt working now.

"Elle!" his voice calls but I keep walking head down. I cant talk to him. I just calm. Looking at him now I feel sick and heart broken. What jerk could do that to someone? Oh yeah, him! "Hey! Don't ignore me!"

He crosses the street beginning to follow me but I just continue to ignore him clenching my hands.

"Dont ignore me!" he snaps again and a force field springs up in front of me. I stop but dont look at him. I cant. I clutch my sleeves tugging at them. I feel my stomach beginning to churn making me feel sick. "Jesus christ, I'm not a zombie, you can come near me!"

"Leave me alone" I whisper.

"No" he replies. I hug my stomach. Why cant he just leave me alone? I dont want him. I dont need him. If he left me alone I'd feel much better.... I think. "Elle" his voice is angry which causes the same feeling begin to boil beneath my skin.

"What?" I snap back still not looking at him.

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

I look up angrily. "Cause your filth" I snap. "You disgust me to the pits of my stomach. Happy?"

"Yeah its wonderful to hear such a lovely compliment in the morning, your just as bad as Naomi sometimes"

"So I get to know her name at least" I say putting my hands on my hips.

"Eh? Oh.." he curses. "Naomi's just a friend"

"That you snog?"

He shoves his hand in his pockets looking at his toes. "Oh fine. You caught me, whatever. She's my girlfriend" he says simply. "Why are you so bugged about it?"

"Cause you kissed me" I snap. "You're such a jerk. You know that?" I turn trying to leave.

"It was just a kiss" he mumbles. I spin round and slap him hard across the cheek.

"And that was just a slap" I say furious.

"Why did you do that?" Alex asks not flinching.

"I felt like it" I say turning to walk away again. I barely hear what Alex whispers beneath his breath but I do hear one word which I can not repeat. I spin round. "No I am not. You are. You cheating, heart-breaking jerk"

"Cheating?" he says raising an eyebrow. "I believe you need to do it more than one if its a kiss. That other thing on the other hand is a different matter"

"You've cheated" I say simply.

"Oh, but you provoked me to. You can tell anyone in the world but Naomi will always believe me over someone else"

"You're using her then" I say shaking my head. "I feel sorry for her"

"Not really. I like her alot. Why would I date her for a year if I was using her? I could have anyone but I like her more than other girls" he pauses. "Probably more than you too"

"I dont care cause you could never have me anyway" she leaves before he can say anything else.

The End

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