I'd never liked Esther.
And in that moment, as I lay on my bed and watched the irritatingly cheerful stars twinkle outside my bedroom window, I came to the conclusion that I'd never disliked Esther more than I did at that moment.
My pillow was long since being wet with tears. Now, it was positively soaked. I closed my eyes and tried to slow down my frantically buzzing heartbeat, but it was all to no avail. The hands of betrayal lay heavily upon me. I wondered if I should just stop breathing. I didn't know whether to embrace or ignore the numbness welling up within me.
I turned over to the wall so I wouldn't have to see the stars. They were like a mockery to me now.
How could you, Devyn? How could you be so cruel? How is it that I trusted you...but then you went and cheated on me? What does Esther have that I don't?
I rolled over again. Lying in the direction of the wall was getting uncomfortable.
My cell phone beeped, and I sat up to see what was going on. My tangled hair fell around my shoulders, and I sat there for a moment, trembling. What if it was Devyn? What would he have to say for himself?
It was Devyn. He'd sent me a text.
hey, nadia! are you ok? cole said youre sad. what can i do?
Shuddering, I wrapped myself more tightly in my blanket. How was I supposed to respond? why dont you ask esther if im ok.
Part of me knew I was being unfair. Maybe I should have been giving Devyn a chance. But on the other hand...if he really was cheating on me, then there was no use giving him a chance! He was a total jerk! He deserved nothing but my wrath!
But I loved him...
Stupid, idiotic self! I inwardly berated myself. Why do you have to be so conflicted over this? Why can't you just accept that men can't be trusted and move on?
But the thing was...I'd really thought that Devyn was different from the rest of them.
Was I wrong to put so much hope in you, Devyn?
The last thing I knew before falling asleep was the sound of my phone beeping from Devyn's latest text message. I didn't even bother to read it.