"But there are things that need to come out of the dark now. For us to heal, we have to identify the scars."
Hearing those words, I knew that this would be the conversation. The one where we told the story from both our sides. I wasn't ready to share mine and frankly, I didn't know what to say. Both of us had our scars, deep and painful inside of our hearts. But sharing them now felt too sudden...too fast.
Yet, looking into my son's eyes that were no longer guarded from me with hate or fury, I felt like I owed this to him. I wouldn't let him down ever again and I might as well make my first step forward.
"Dakota...I know I hurt you. A lot. I should have been there but-"
"Why weren't you then?" He interrupting, cutting to the chase. Biting on the inside of my cheek, I released a sigh and ran my hand through my hair in frustration.
"Because I was too caught up in the career aspect of my life to tend to my family," I said in one quick breath. I'd let it out, admitted what Dakota already knew aloud. A small smile came on to his lips as I'd said this. He was happy - for the first time, I agreed that I'd been a total jerk.
"I shouldn't have neglected you. And I blame myself for being the reason why all our lives are screwed up now. Maybe if I hadn't...if I could go back and just change-"
"But you can't dad." My teary eyes met Dakota's sad ones as he gave me a humourless smile. "That's the cold hard truth."
Dakota was right...the emotions that reflected across his face proved that. Our lives would never be the same again.
Maybe we could pick the pieces that fell apart. Maybe we could put them back together again.
Oh, how I wished we could.