The next scene was one that I wished wouldn't have been replayed from my past. It was about two years after my parent's divorce when I was 7. I stood there looking up at my dad warmly.
"Daddy can we go fishing later please?" I asked and I cringed at how sweet I sounded, " I don't want to be here with the baby sitter again, I want to be with you." My father looked down a little irritated as he talked on the cell phone.
"Not now Dakota!" He hissed while talking on his phone, "I don't have time right now talk to me later!" His words made me cringe, I remember how I felt then, unwanted, even hated. I had immediately gone up to my room and cried my eyes out, Nadia had held me and let me talk. Finally my dad came up and called me outside to talk to him.
"Dakota quit being such a crybaby!" He said, when I had started blubbering and tryi to tell him how I felt, "Man up son! Daddy's got other things that are more important than fishing!" Right then, me in my dream state actually made a move to snap this man's neck. That uncaring bastard... if this was real, if I could have actually done something that would have made a diffrence.
I would have killed him. I would have let out every bit of anger boiling in my veins out on his neck and strangled him to death. There would have been no remorse, not a single bit, in fact I would be overjoyed.
The scene changed again this time to when I was ten, we were at a park with my father. Having a picnic, but dad was ruining it, always talking on his phone with his stupid co workers about stocks. Nadia kept trying to get him to eat and play with me. I had a far off look as I stared at the playground begging my father to come swing with me.
"Dakota! Just wait a minute, I'm busy!" he finally snapped and I looked dissapointed and dad shot me a look like 'don't get mopey'. Nadia looked from me to my father and sighed biting down on her sadwich and lead me down to the swings and played with me while my father just sat up there and watched. Finally it was time to leave and the entire car ride home was silence.
All these times I just wanted to be with him and he pushed me away... And he truly wondered why I hated him? I was his son, and yet he acted as if I was some stranger to him. I didn't ruin his life so why the hell did he have to ruin mine?
The scene changed again and I cringed, this was the one of what truly made me hate my father. Honetly, I didn't know if my heart could take anymore.