I didn't want to be at the hospital. I didn't want to be at my mom's house. I didn't want to be at Melissa's. The only place that sounded relatively desirable was my dad's house. I would be alone if I went there.
Shivering, I drove my little car up the driveway and pulled the keys from the ignition. I sat in my far for a long, long time before getting out and unlocking the front door. Sighing, I walked inside and didn't bother to turn on the lights. For some reason, turning on the lights seemed almost disrespectful of the pain my brother was going through. If he was in the dark figuratively, then I would be in the dark literally.
My first thought was, "I think now would be a nice time to die." I even said the words out loud. But I knew that I couldn't and shouldn't kill myself, so I had to content myself with flopping down on the couch and flipping through TV channels. I needed a distraction.
My cell phone buzzed. I didn't feel like talking on the phone.
But the phone kept vibrating, so I finally took it out and glanced at the Caller ID. Devyn? What was he doing, calling me? Shouldn't Dakota be his first concern?
"Hello," I mumbled, not bothering to put enthusiasm in my voice.
"I'm outside," Devyn said. There was a hint of a smile in his tone. "Let me in."
Groaning, I slammed the lid of my phone shut and stalked over to the door. Sure enough, there stood Devyn, a grossly large bouquet of flowers in his arms. "Are you gonna let me in?" he called.
I tried to put on my best put-out look to let Devyn know he was inconveniencing me. For some reason, I wanted to make everyone as miserable as I was feeling. I unlocked the latch at a stunningly low speed and opened the door as slowly as possible. When I finally let Devyn in, I wore my most grouchy scowl and shoved my hands in my pockets.
"Hi, Nadia," Devyn said, seemingly oblivious to my misery.
"Why are you here?"
"Are these flowers a good enough reason? I wanted to make sure you're doing okay."
I scowled again. Might as well appear as unapproachable as possible.