I must have dozed off at some point during my depressing thoughts. When I woke up, Melissa wasn't there. Understandable seeing as it was late night, she would have needed to go home. Sitting up on my hospital bed, I took the water bottle sat on the table to my left and took a long sip out of it.
I wanted to be discharged. Now.
I had a bad feeling, whether it be parental instinct or just a tug in my stomach, but I felt like it should be acted upon. My getting put into a hospital didn't make things any easier though. And Doc was right, if my health were to improve, I would need more rest.
Sighing, I reached out for my phone and looked through it for Melissa. I started to call her but it was of no real necessity as the next second, the door swung open and in she came for the second time today. But it didn't like Melissa.
The ever constant surge of energy that showed her in face was no longer there, instead in its place was exhaustion. She looked tired. But what was she doing here if she felt that way?
"Nadia's staying with me for a while."
Oh, that's why.
"And Dakota's gone back to his stepfather's."
I could feel my fist clench at the thought. Why would Dakota even do that? I was the main cause of his grief but that bastard was far more worse than I could be. He treated my children like absolute crap, he had no heart. Why in the world would-
"Did you know that Dakota cuts himself?" Melissa asked, her voice sounding emotionless as she sat down next to me on the bed.
"Yeah, I did..."
"Well Nadia tried to stop him from doing it again and he reacted really badly. Tom, Dakota's really troubled..." She seemed to be hesitating to find the right words not to anger but she already had.
"You think I don't know that already? You think I don't try to help him? Cause I do but he pushes me away! What more can I possibly do?"
She jumped slightly at the sound of my shouts. I felt myself shaking in anger, in helplessness and tears of fury escaped my eyes. If only I could change my life, I would. But I felt far past the point of fixing things.
"Sshh..." She said, leaning closer to me as she took my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "Calm down. Just...take deep breaths."
I said as she instructed, knowing if I didn't, I'd probably go into 'Panic Attack' mode, something she really didn't want for to happen. I looked away from her, my hands slipping out of her hold as I crossed them in front of my chest.
Sighing, she said, "Listen, I've asked the doctor to discharge you and he said he'll allow that as long as you're under constant care which means you'll have to live with me for a while."
"I can't, not with Nadia there. I can't be around her in this state Melissa," I said quickly.
"She needs you Tom."
That simple statement was enough for the pain to echo through my chest, reminding me of all that I'd brought upon my children.
I owed it to her.