The stars were twinkling. Oh, how ironic. The sky was so peaceful, but all our house was in turmoil.
I lay in bed and stared out through the window in my room that looked out at the sky. If only I could be one of those stars and not an insecure teenager...
Curling up in my bed, I lay my face on the cool side of the pillow and let out a long sigh. Fingers clenching and unclenching the sheets, I tried not to think through the events of the day.
Sighing, I sat up in bed. I was far too awake to go to sleep. Besides, I needed to use the bathroom.
The downstairs bathroom was being remodeled, so I went to the second floor. But as I reached the bathroom, I looked upstairs and saw the light in Dakota's bedroom was on. I glanced at the clock. 4:30 in the morning. Wasn't it a little early to be up?
When I entered Dakota's room, I saw that he, Devyn, and Cole were all asleep. They must've fallen asleep with the light on. I was about to turn off the light when my gaze swept over Dakota. There was a small pool of blood on the carpet next to him. Heart stopping, I knelt beside my brother and saw that through his long sleeves, there was a trail of blood. Nauseated, I tried to pull up Dakota's sleeve, but he instinctively drew his arm closer to his body. He was still asleep.
I stood and looked at my brother for a long time. It was then that I noticed he'd fallen asleep with something in his hand.
Something that caught the light of the lightbulb and shone it across the room.
Metal. A razor. I didn't care if Dakota woke up; I reached out and grabbed the razor, heart dropping as I felt the dried blood on it. Oh, God, where are You? Dakota had stirred, but when I saw he was still sleeping, my nerves calmed a bit.
I glanced over at Cole and saw that his eyes were open. He'd been watching me the whole time.
I tried to give my brother's friend a reassuring smile, but all I could do was feel the tears run down my cheek. Turning, I darted out of the room and locked myself in the bathroom, where I sank to the floor and let the tears flow freely.
I looked over and saw bloody paper towels in the trash can.
My cell phone vibrated. As I reached into the pocket of my pajamas, I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath. It was a text message from Cole. I read the message with teary eyes: you ok?
Thumbs shaking with weariness, I responded, not really!
As I waited for Cole's response, I let out a shaky breath and tried to calm my heart's frantic beating. My phone vibrated again, and my heart broke at Cole's text: i dont think any of us are ok.
I didn't feel like talking and hoped Cole would understand that. we should prolly get some sleep. goodnite, cole.
I was surprised when a fresh burst of tears fell from my eyes. I hadn't thought I could cry anymore, but I was wrong.
I didn't fall asleep that night.