I had been sitting on the bed, doing absolutely nothing, when Devyn knocked on my door. Suddenly self-conscious, I called, "You can come in," all the while wiping my face so as to make me look a little less tearful.
"Are...you okay?" Devyn stopped. "I mean, that's a dumb question. I mean, I can tell something's wrong. I mean..." He stopped there, awkward.
I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I'm just fine."
"No, you're not," Devyn continued. "You're crying, Nadia. What's up?"
I shrugged and twirled a tendril of hair around my finger. No way I was going to trust anyone with my feelings. "I don't know. Just Dad and Dakota and all, and I - " My voice suddenly choked off, and I fought to keep my composure. "Devyn, how much do you know about my brother? Did you know he..." I stopped, afraid to say it. That my brother had been cutting.
"Yeah, I know he's been...cutting. I found out only a little while ago. Can't say I haven't done some of the same stuff myself."
I turned away. Oh, no. Not Devyn, too!
"I've stopped self-harming, but I can't say I'm not tempted to alot." Devyn stopped. "Wow, I can't believe I just told you that."
I wiped my runny nose on my sleeve, not caring how disgusting the act was. "So...like...you know what my brother goes through? Why didn't he tell me? No offense, but you'd think he'd tell his own sister first..." Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. "This is ridiculous," I muttered.
"I don't think he's keeping any more secrets from you, Nadia. And if he is, then he's keeping them from me, too."
The words were comforting, and I found myself relaxing just a little. For some reason, I found it much easier to relax around Devyn than around lots of my other so-called "friends."
"Nadia, what about you? Are you okay? Is there stuff you're...you know..."
I shook my head slowly. "No. Just...God, you know. I definitely have been tempted to do something to soothe my pain, but right when I feel like caving into the pain and doing something stupid, God shows Himself. It's crazy...I'm so glad I'm not going through this on my own."
Devyn seemed a little uncomfortable at the turn of the conversation, and I could sense that he didn't really like talking about faith. I looked down and twirled my thumbs, not caring how cliched it was to do so.
"I actually should probably start getting ready for dance class," I said finally, after a long silence. "But I really appreciate you coming to talk to me, Devyn."
Devyn stood up from where he'd been sitting on my floor. He tripped over a scarf I had lying around and almost lost his balance. Blushing, he waved at me as I tried not to giggle at his misstep. "Uh," he said, embarrassed from the mishap, "no problem. Anytime. Like...seriously, anytime." He bit his lip and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Umm...see ya."
I smiled and watched him walk away. He was...kind of cute.