I didn't feel anything as I walked back up the stairs into my room where my only friends were. My entire being was numb from the confrontation with my father. Oh well I'd done what I had to, I'd made sure he felt guilty for all the hell in my life. Devyn and Cole were waiting for me and from their expressions I could tell they'd heard the argument.
"What was all of that about?" Devyn asked, genuinely concerned about me as a person.
"Dad... as usual." I said my voice somewhat numb from what'd just happened, "D-Devyn why don't you check on Nadia she's in the basement and, well she's really upset."
"But-" He began but my eyes gave him a sense of how I was feeling and he left the room and I could feel him going down the stairs.
"Are you okay?" Cole asked moving next to me on the bed. I shook my head softly and he looked me in the eye.
"It's okay to cry you know," I looked over and saw the look on his face which told me he cared about me, "You have every right to it right now."
"Dude I don't want to look gay in front of you," I said laughing bitterly, "It's not right for one guy to see another cry."
" You really think I'd care?" He asked raising an eyebrow, "If you keep it in it builds up until all the bitterness and anger finally explodes and takes out anything you care about." I looked over at him and remembered why he was my friend.
We shared bruises from our step dads, and we both had horrible mothers who didn't really care about us. The only difference, I had a father I could hate but he didn't, his father had died when he was just a baby, while my dad was physically alive, though he was dead to me emotionally.
Thinking on all of this my walls finally shattered, all those emotions crashed out of my body like a black riptide. I fell on the bed sobbing loudly, I felt Cole watching me with concern, I felt his hand on my shoulder as my heart shattered and was reanimated again and again. Like a dark dance of the soul that just wouldn't end. My body shook like a building during an earthquake.
My bed was now a pile of blankets and sheets that were soaked in tears. Finally I felt Cole pull me somewhat close to him and now the tears poured out of my eyes and into his shirt. This lasted for about 10 minutes and then I finally managed to pull my heart back together and I moved off of Cole not wanting to make him feel anymore awkward than he probably already felt.
"You feel any better now?" He asked, pulling his hand off my shoulder and I nodded, "That's good I hate seeing my friends like that."
We stood there in silence for a long time and finally, sick of silence we began to talk about our lives, but mainly about our siblings. He was talking about how his brother and he had a good friendship and then I told him about how Nadia and I could almost tell what the other was thinking. Finally Devyn came back up and we ended the conversation there.
That night I found out what real friends are for. They're the people in your life who have seen your heart break into thousands of pieces and they help put it back together.