I felt dumb for crying. I've never been the one to cry in movies or songs or even life, but for some reason, that pathetic movie Dad and I were watching really hit home.
The girl who was the main character had a dad who really cared about her. Watching that movie only reminded me how much other people have that I don't. I drew my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes, trying to keep more tears from squeezing from my lashes.
My small frame shook with the longing to be part of a normal family. Here I was in my dad's house, and even though he was only a few rooms away, I knew the truth: we were worlds apart.
Upstairs, Dakota was playing a video game with Devyn and Cole. It made me wish that I had friends I could depend on. But Kacie and Brittany had left me behind, like all my other so-called "friends." My heart hurt just in thinking about their rejection. They hadn't officially dumped me, but their distaste of me had become all too clear in the past months.
Not to mention I didn't have a boyfriend, either...I didn't want a boyfriend in the first place, but my singleness did make me wonder if there was something wrong with me. I was one of the few seventeen-year-olds in our highschool that hadn't been kissed yet.
Well, it wasn't like I wanted anything to do with love, anyways.
Still, though, the movie was making me wish for things I thought I'd gotten used to not having. I went upstairs and grabbed a snack of peanut butter bananas, but I couldn't get my mind off what would never be mine. What I'd give to have parents who actually cared...
I shook my head. I knew better than to mull over things that could never be. Ugh, that stupid chick flick!
As I sat there, eating my peanut butter bananas, Devyn came into the room. "Hey, do you have any soda?" he asked.
"Umm, yeah, I think so," I said, motioning toward the refrigerator.
Devyn opened the refrigerator, then selected a Coca-Cola from one of the drawers. Before heading back upstairs, though, he raised his eyebrows. "You okay?"
I waved my hand. "Yeah, sure," I said, though I was sure my eyes told otherwise.
I wish I had a friend like Devyn or Cole, I thought to myself, staring vacantly out the window. I heard the boys laughing and doing something loud upstairs, and as I took my now-empty plate to the dishwasher, I remembered all the good times Kacie and Brittany and I used to have together.
Clang! I shoved my plate in the dishwasher, satisfied with the loud noise it made.