"I want you so badly...I- I think I love you."
And there it was. The words hung in the air between us, words I could never take back. I was scared, terrified that I'd ruined everything. That Bart would run away and never speak to me again. Forget all about me like I deserved.
I did not expect him to lean it, take my face in his hands, and kiss me. But he did, and everything else faded away. It was the most perfect of kisses, everything passionate and slow and peaceful. I moaned beneath his lips as he tugged on my hair gently.
But reality set in too soon, the realization of what had just happened, what was still happening. This was my cousin, for God's sake. Beyond that, he had a girlfriend. It broke my heart clean in two when I pulled away, watching a dull hurt fall over his face.
"What about Arianna?" I asked, because I needed to know. I was not looking to be his pawn. I wanted something so vividly real it made my head spin.
"She fucked Malcom," he told me. "We broke up."
That was all I needed to hear. I pushed myself into him and together we fell back onto the couch of the common room. His hands explored my body, brushing pain skin as they slid up under my shirt.
"Bart, I dont want to rush..." I whispered against his lips, words lost in the wake of his kisses. A few moments passed before he pulled away.
"We can take it however slow you want," he said with a gentle smile. I nuzzled up against his chest, feeling safer than I had in a long time.
Potions class the next day was a bitch.
Tristan sat down across from me at the table, avoiding my gaze carefully. I watched in amusement as he worked extraordinarily hard to arrange his books and papers just so.
"You're ignoring me now?" I asked of him, though my words were lacking the venom I might have desired. "I gave you the best sex of your life and now you arent even going to say hi?"
Tristan looked up to meet my eyes, shooting daggers at me. He said nothing; I assumed he thought his hate filled expression said it all."You gave me the only sex of my life and it didnt fucking mean a thing to you."
Those words I had not expected. A part of me almost felt some guilt at the look of anger, and pain, strewn across his face. But mostly I was just amazed that Tristan was a virgin. Or, had been until I'd lured him away.
"I'm sorry?" I replied, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my tone.
Tristan scowled at me. "You think you can play these games with people," he hissed. "When everyone in this school knows you're fucking your own cousin."
That stung more than I had expected. I wondered if anyone around us was listening in. Was stunned by his accusations. Or maybe he was right, and everyone had already deemed me a sick and twisted creature. I wondered if it was in my blood. Death-Eaters had been known for inbreeding, attempts to keep the blood pure.
"Fuck off," I said, for lack of anything more clever to reply with. Tristan turned away from me, towards the podium where the professor had finally appeared.
I let my own gaze fall to my pile of books before me. I wished Bart was there with me, to hold my hand and protect me. I'd always known that the good things were worth fighting for. And the way my heart thudded at the mere thought of him, there had to be something in him that made me feel this way. I could only hope that there was something inside of me to keep him beside me.