The Requests For Advice DieMature

Another thing I've noticed (I'm sure you are all sick of hearing about what I've noticed) is that when people find out what sort of stuff I write, they suddenly stop turning to me for advice (which can be a good thing - for me!).

I love how I only have to charge my phone about twice a month now, because texts asking for advice suddenly run dry and everybody thinks that something like this will happen if they ask for advice:

Kathy: "Emotional support helpline (sarcastic voice and fake secretarial voice) how can I help you?"

Beloved Friend talks or texts for very long time about the problems they think they have.

Kathy: "Well, I think what you need is a bullet to the head. Or a blade to the wrists. Or a nice, brisk run off of the edge of a cliff! Now go try that out! Goodbye!" (hangs up or stops texting.)

Beloved Friend (A) takes fantastic advice or (B) finds another friend who'll tell her to listen to Adele and watch bad T.V shows.

Generally, I am an okay friend. I make people look less ugly or seem less 'weird' by comparison. But now that I have returned to my preferred 'Loner' status, my life has become a lot easier! Amazing how death poetry means no more annoying advice-giving sessions.

The End

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