For the last three days, not counting yesterday, I was doing ten pages a day on my story. Not counting yesterday, because I only did half a page. And this is the reason why; my Nintendo. You see, me and my Nintendo have a very 'love-hate' relationship. If I lose the game, I swear and throw it at the wall, vowing that I'll never play it again. If I win the game, I carry on playing for the next hour or whatever. Like a manic ten-year-old.
The ultimate lie is "I'll just kill one zombie and then I'll get back to writing!"
So I came to the realisation that I severely lacked self-discipline.
The last story I did was Censorship; The Compression Of Art, which finished at ninety pages. It was a Nine-Inch-Nails fuelled typing rampage. But since I finished it, all my other stories get to thirty pages and then fail. I call it the '30 page curse' but now I realise that it is because I lack the discipline to force myself to write more. I just find ways to avoid writing. Like "Kathy, put down that damn Nintendo and write something!" And I'm like "I'm not playing Nintendo, I'm researching into a possible future career in graphics design!"
That's the argument I have with myself every day. Damn you, Nintendo. When the world is mine, your death will be slow and painful.
Also, lately even my paintings have been shoved aside to be finished 'later' as in "When hell freezes over because of an armageddon and the zombie apocalypse hits and the earth falls out of orbit and there's nowhere left to charge the Nintendo." Art used to be an escape. Now I'm trying to escape from art.