The Worst Friend in the WorldMature

Time seemed to have lost all meaning.  I couldn't tell you the number of days since Tam had been admitted to the hospital.  Could not tell you how many days I went to school, due to persistence of my mom, and felt like a zombie.  Everything seemed to have been drained out of me.

Every thought of mine circled around Tamar.  I couldn't focus without wondering where she was or what she was doing. 

How did I not see this?

I was supposed to protect her.  I was supposed to care for her, not to let her starve herself until she no longer exists.  How could I let her do this?  I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO STOP THIS!

The doctors told me what could have sparked her anorexia:  distorted self-image, a way to relive stress, a form of self-punishment... the list seemed to go on forever.  All these things could have been hurting my best friends while I sat by and did nothing.  Nothing.  Nothing.

Yet among all the confusion of the how's and the why's, I felt betrayed.  Tam did not trust me.  She had been struggling and she had not come to me.  Instead, she turned to the monster of anorexia. 

I am the worst friend in the world.

And I can't save my best friend.

The End

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