I felt my cell phone buzz in my pocket. Puzzled, I stared at the Caller ID. Why would my mom be calling me? Wasn't she at work?
Sighing, I plugged one ear and held the phone up to the other. "Hey," I said.
Mom's voice was short and panicked. "Tamar, get home right now!"
Suddenly nervous, I backed into a more private section of the theatre and spoke quickly. "Why? What's wrong? Is everything okay?"
"I thought you were smarter than this, Tamar! I thought you knew better! What do you think you're doing?"
Still unsure what my mom was getting at, I held a finger up to Ari, who had come to find me. One moment, I mouthed to my best friend. "Mom, what on earth are you talking about?"
"I found the food stuffed under your chair. Your dinner last night. What was were the muffins doing stuffed under your chair? You know better than this, Tamar!"
I felt like throwing up. Leaning heavily against the wall, I listened as my mom continued.
"I knew you were getting skinny, and one of my co-workers mentioned that you seem to be fidgeting constantly. She said you've been pale lately, and that you remind her of her anorexic niece. Tamar, what do you think you're doing? Don't you know the effect this will have on everyone?"
"Mom, no! You've got it all wrong! I'm not - "
"And what was that tape measure doing under your pillow? And all those pictures of skinny models in that drawer in your desk? I found the pro-anorexia CD under your bed. Don't lie to me, Tamar. Don't lie to me!"
Ari must have been able to hear my mom's frantic tone of voice, because she came close and put her arm around me. "What's wrong?"
Shoving Ari aside, I paced back and forth. This is all wrong. What can I do to hide this from her? She's found me out! "Mom, you need to calm down and listen to me, okay? I only hid the muffins because they tasted awful. No offense, Mom, but you're not the best cook. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Don't worry - I had some granola bars when you weren't looking."
Mom was calming down a bit.
"You can even check the trash can, Mom. There will be granola bar wrappers in it."
"I took the trash out, and it got picked up this morning."
I know. That's the only reason I said that. "And I didn't have those pictures of skinny models because I want to be like them, Mom. I'm inspired by their outfits. And the pro-anorexia CD was given to me by a friend who has an eating disorder. She thought that because I was skinny, I must be anorexic. So she gave it to me. I told her the reason I'm skinny is because it's in my blood."
"But Tamar - "
"Mom, would I do something so stupid as have an eating disorder?"
And with that, I slammed my phone shut, unable to cope with any more stress.
I sank to the floor and didn't respond to Ari's desperate questions.
Oh, no...I forgot to explain the tape measure!