"What is this?"
"You can read, yes? That's monstrously long and I don't have the time to do it for you."
"It's like half a page!"
"... Okay. So, this is a cease and/or desist order? Is that even a... thing?"
"Well, if it's not a thing then you're holding a piece of magic in your hands, aren't you?"
"Just what kind of lawyer are you?"
"Oh no, not this conversation again..."
"The one where the legitimacy of my online law degree is doubted and/or belittled. I can assure you, that website's Yelp rating is through the roof!"