I worry that Sarah will get told off tomorrow. She really doesn't need it what with eveything that's going on in her life at the moment. And as if she could explain her boy problems.
I glance at her sleeping form and wish I could solve all her problems for her.
"I love you," I murmur to her unconscious form as I caress her hair and keep it off her face. Today's conversation has taught me to not be ashamed of my feelings, and that expressing them is okay as long as it doesn't harm Sarah. Since she is blissfully unaware, I know I am allowed to kiss her, touch her, hold her. I know my limits too, but somehow having a degree of freedom is easier on me.
I lie beside her, watching her chest rise and fall. I almost want to replace the duvet as Sarah's source of warmth and comfort, but I know that that is crossing the line.
Suddenly, Sarah's mobile rings, shattering the peace and beauty of the scene. Angrily, I pick it up, hoping that Sarah is not disturbed.
It turns out to be Sarah's failure of a boyfriend. He hangs up on me and I let myself forget about him as my thoughts return to Sarah.
That night, I slept on the floor of Sarah's room, borrowing a sleeping bag from a cupboard and a pillow from the guest room. I'd like to think of myself as her protector, the one who will never let her down. I briefly feel angry at Theseus for abandoning her, but it's impossible to feel negative for too long in this bedroom.
This bedroom where I have so many happy childhood memories of Sarah and I hanging out... I fall asleep without realising it.