Balthazar - Anything Else?

'So, is there anything else you want to talk about, baby?'

I watch her face as she seems to struggle internally. Huh. I would've thought she wouldn't need to struggle by now. My powers of seduction aren't what I thought they were, obviously.

'Kiss me.'

That'll teach me to underestimate myself!

I move forwards slowly, sit gently beside her. I can feel her body right beside mine - tense and excited. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through her.

I lean forwards. Slowly... Slowly... My hand slips up round her neck, cupping her cheek in my palm. She leans inwards, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

Our lips brush for the briefest instant, and then she's upon me, fingers in my hair, lips on mine, body pushed against mine.

I allow her to kiss me for a second, before pulling back. I turn away slightly, my breathing rough with desire.

'Balthazar? Kiss me!'

Now for the killing blow.

'I... I can't, Sarah...'

'You love me, don't you?'

I turn to her, meeting her eyes. 'Of course I do! But you love Theseus. I couldn't... I can't make you choose. My conscience wouldn't allow it.'

She smiles. What a beautiful smile!

'Oh, Balthazar! You are so perfect.' She creeps up the sofa towards me. 'But you must see - I don't love Theseus. I love you. I could never love anyone but you. And I want you so much!'

I lean inwards again, and we kiss ferociously, tenderly, perfectly. She's so beautiful. She's everything I want. I love her! I've never loved till now. Every part of my being wishes just to be with her, to touch her, to hold her. I want to make her laugh. I want to hold her when she cries. I want to get to know her better.

'No!'

I don't realise that I moved till I'm halfway across the room. Sarah's left on the sofa, looking after me with big eyes.

'I'm sorry,' I say quietly. 'You're not her. I can't...'

'What are you, Balthazar?' she whispers with white lips. I close my eyes. I want to go to her so badly. But I know I can't.

'I'm a Seraph,' she says, and I stiffen. No. Not this time. Not now. 'I'm a Seraph and I love you. I trust you. What are you?'

I turn to her, my eyes blazing. 'I was like you once,' I spit forcefully. 'Innocent and bright. I loved everything I saw. I was an angel too, once. Not anymore.'

Her eyes fill with tears. 'What happened?'

I try to speak violently as before, but I find myself speaking in barely a whisper. 'I Fell.'

She gasps slightly, and I turn from her again. I can't look back into those eyes. I lose myself there. I can't see her suffer for me. I can't see her sympathy. I don't want it. I don't need it.

'I'm sorry,' I say again. 'Go back to your boyfriend. I can't love you.'

'Why not?'

I've lost her now. She's no longer under my spell. Do I care?

'Because, in my heart, I know I still love her. I always have.'

'Is that why you Fell?'

A dagger, right between my ribs. I can feel it as she asks her cursed questions.

'Yes.'

'Why? What was so terrible about loving a woman?'

I turn to her again, and this time it's my eyes swimming with tears.

'Because she was another man's wife. I broke a Commandment. And I payed for it dearly.'

In a moment, I leave my house. I ache to spread my wings, but even they were ripped from me.

I have nothing now.

 

I am nothing.

 

The End

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