That's the first think I think.
When Dr Gail's voice came over the speakers into our quiet sculpture class, I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. I staggered. Literally. I mean, you hear about this kind of thing all the time. But it never happens to someone you know.
At least Alex might look at me now.
That's my second thought, and I know I should feel guilty for thinking it, but I don't. The real truth is, I didn't like Kesley Kay Vanderson. Hated her, more like. She was one of those annoying bitches who have everything: looks, talent, money - she had it all. So how could she throw it away?
Alexei never noticed me when she was around. I know he liked her, but she was too stuck up her own arse to notice. Maybe he'll see me now.
I wonder why she felt she had to do it... But really, it's nothing to do with me. It's her choice. Her life. Her problem.
So why do I feel guilty? Why am I glancing up to see if they can see the guilt scrawled in an ugly hand across my face? I can practically smell it. The guilt, I mean. It smells like blood.
I can lie to the whole world - it's something I've always prided myself on - but that means I can't fool myself.
I shouldn't have done it. Dear God. What if that's what drove her over the edge?