I was hardly paying attention to the world around me, the world of two faced dogs, and people who aren't the people they seem to be, when the message telling us of the suicide of Kelsey Kay Vanderson. I knew her I guess in the fashion that we would share a few kind conversations from time to time but otherwise neither of us had any real impact on each others lives. I put the small compact video camera down on the desk observing my fellow classmates facial expressions they all dropped to the same look of depression. Did they do it because it would is not right to smile in ones death or did they do it because they actually cared? Either way it didn't matter to me , Inside I felt nothing just my usual plain dead self,and certain amount of maybe she had the right direction there is nothing here for me, is there? I wiped my plastered on smile and put on a face of no feeling. The bell soon rang dismissing my last class of the day.
Slowly shouldering my bag I left my class soon meeting a friend of mine I guess you would call her although I think the only reason she hung around me was to find out what was under the permanent smile, and that confident attitude, even though the answer was before her she did not see it.
"It's horrible it truly is." She says with a note of sadness , subconsciously hugging me.
"Yeah, it is." I say hugging her back awkwardly, but putting on sort of encouraging smile.
" What do you feel about it, you've talked to her a few times she didn't seem like she had life that hard. It makes me worry about a lot of people who seem happy could they too be think they are meaningless?" She asked. I Froze I really had no real feelings on the matter or anything else.
"I'm not sure , its definitely a tragedy, I guess the truth is I don't think the event completely hit me yet." I lied , beginning to walk down the hall.