Cody: DrunkMature

The last thing I remember about Temptation was stumbling out club's front doors, forcing myself not to hurl my guts up. Everything was so disorientated. It was like the ground was slanted and gravity was pulling me sideways.

The blaring of car horns and foul curses were fired at me. Metallic colours glinted beneath the dim street lights. I didn't realise until my unfocused vision notified a red motorbike skidding to a halt only a few millimetres away that my drunken ass had decided to take a 'pleasant' stroll across the nearest busy road.

"Jesus, Cody!" I heard Lucy voice holler over the angry drivers.

She strode to me, her eyes burning with a fury more threatening than road rage. She gripped both my shoulders and towed me towards the parking lot.

"My hero," I gurgled, smiling sloppily.

"Oh shut up!" She snapped, opening the door of her parent's ford fiesta and shoving me onto the back seats. "Lucas, you better get in there with him in case he does something stupid. Believe it or not, he's even more of an imbecile when he's not sober."

Lucas scrambled in, following Lucy's command with no questions asked.

"Where's...Where's Sally Big Boobs and Claire Bear?" I hiccuped.

"They're making their own way back. Fortunately for you. I doubt Sally would have wanted to hear what you really think of her."

Lucy stretched over Lucas to do my seatbelt - she had obviously decided that I was incapable of doing anything under the influence of alcohol. As she did so, her top slipped a little, revealing some cleavage.

"Actually scratch that," I said, my speech slurred. "You have much bigger."

She instantly recoiled and slammed the door shut.

As she clambered in to the drivers seat, she hissed at me through clenched teeth. "I'm going to forget you ever said that, only because you're drunk."

I merely belched loudly in response.

"How could he get so drunk during the thirty minutes or so I was gone is all I want to know," Lucas asked as Lucy reversed out the parking space. "He didn't even have ID saying he was old enough."

"Older women," Lucy answered, pushing down hard on the accelerator to make the whole car and my stomach to shake violently.

"Oh." Lucas looked at me, his eyes wide and innocent.

"I love you Lukey," I cried, throwing my arms around him vigorously and strangling myself on the seatbelt.

Lucy's eyebrows raised incredulously in the driver's mirror.

"You're like the dweebish younger brother I never wanted...Except I have one of those already."

Lucas face flushed a hot red, his face a mixture of horror and utter delight. I gave his smooth cheeks a pat and whispered loudly in his ear, "If you ever feel like switching teams, I'm sure Lucy will have you. The boyfriend she has at the moment is a complete douche!"

"Hey," Lucy grumbled. "I heard that! And for your information, Nick's a lovely guy."

"Nice Nick," I chuckled. "Nick with the fast sports car. Nick with the toned body. Nick who's been accepted into the county's top university."

"You're just jealous."

I buried my head into Lucas' jumper and laughed.

"And how many times has ol' Nicky asked for a blowy?" I taunted as I straightened back up in my seat.

She sucked in a sharp breath and spat, "Never! He's not like that."

I nudged Lucas gently in the ribcage and said, "That's probably because he has a small penis."

I had crossed the line. We reached a stop sign and Lucy hit the breaks, causing the car to lurch. My head collided with the passenger seat in front before I was thrown back into my seat.

"Don't," she said, "insult my boyfriend." She turned round in the drivers seat to give me her deathly stare. "Or else-"

Lucy didn't get any further. The stop had been so abrupt that the vomit that had been blocking my throat shot out and hit Lucy square in the face.

Oh...Fffffffudge-sticks!

The End

96 comments about this exercise Feed