Tuesday, 16th November 2010
I feel an emptyness eating away at the core of my soul. The fog has hung around all day and I don't see life making a dramatic improvement any time soon.
Yes, unfortunately I am now at the age when adults wish to discuss "your future" and ask you what you hope to gain from life. The thing is, I hadn't the slightest idea! I look at my friends, their lives carefully planned out, occupation decided and they don't see the Future as a bleak black hole like I do. To tell the truth I envy them. What I wouldn't give to have a little glimpse of an idea on what I want to do with my life.
I'll admit, my friends' fantasies of marrying their boyfriends and have said many kids seems pretty far-fetched, even if it is possible. I guess that I believe some things just turn out better if they aren't planned. For one, you won't be as disappointed because you didn't have any expectations. On the other hand, expectations are always good.
Argh! Here I am having an argument with myself as per usual. -.-
It's sixth form open evening for my school tonight. Being a year 11 means I'll have to attend it and try to decide what A-levels I am going to do. Psssht! A-levels. I don't even know what I want for breakfast in the morning!
I also have to attend this silly meeting at school to...You guessed it! Discuss my future! Hmmm...Maybe I'll just tell her I want to be a fairy princess and live in a giant pink castle. (: