Dear Bekah,

I wanted to write you a letter because you're never there for long enough for me to talk to you. And besides, when I do, I find my eyes welling up and then you think I'm an idiot. Maybe you always think I'm an idiot.

Well, not an idiot exactly. More someone to be ignored, someone to be left behind when you grow up and I don't.

So when I saw you yesterday and you didn't even say 'hello'; when I saw you and you didn't give me the usual hug...that's when I decided to write you a letter. I don't think you realised that I had noticed. Maybe you didn't even notice yourself. It's quite likely. You didn't seem to be noticing me much at all.

In an hour and a half we said, what was it, 10 words to each other? And yet I was trying to talk to you most of the time. I was trying to contribute to the conversation but my words were superfluous. I was superfluous. You didn't need me. I was nothing.

Anyway. Perhaps in a few years you'll see that you hurt me, or perhaps you won't even remember my name. Well, here's something to remind you of me. Here's something to keep me forever on your heart, even if we never speak again.

But we will. Briefly, without meaning: so close and yet so far from what we used to be.

I remember what the past was like. Do you?

Your old friend,

Delorfinde.

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Author guidance for This exercise

...
I wanted to say it aloud but I couldn't without you thinking I'm an idiot. And so I decided to write you a letter, Bekah. Perhaps several letters.

Then, and probably only then, you'll realise that by growing up you've hurt me far more than you could ever realise.
...
You have to realise that people like me are always alone. I thought you were the only person who didn't judge me. I thought you were the only person who was always there for me, no matter how screwed up I am.

And then I realised that you're no different to the rest of them. And that hurt.
...

updated May 21 '10 by delorfinde