its starting to burn in my chest

I never told anyone. That's the best part of when she says I do it for attention. I never held my wrists up to god and asked him to let everyone see. I wore sweaters to hide my destruction from the rotten hearted, I smiled to keep everyone believing that I was blending into the background just fine. No one noticed

Until it was too much

I hit the nightmares and dreamt of

a thick dripping

a falling

crashing

sinking

a foggy glance of old bottles before an inevitable darkness

an escape


someone found out.

was it the dark circles? Did my facade slip? Did my sleeve? 

My grades went from A's to B's.

They weren't worried

about me.

It was the fact that I forgot to turn in

an essay on

mitosis.

Maybe I gave up then? or Did i give up before then? Did I ever really even have anything to give up? My ribs shone through my shirts and my skin was fading and i piled on make up to make it seem like I was healthy

nothing wrong

its just winter

When I think about this, after she says I only have my mental instability to get attention, it gets worse. I wish I could forget it all

put it behind me

deny it

be straight

be what god wants me to be

would i be happy?

would i be okay?

would the vertical lines 

disappear? 

would i?

The End

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