Something is happening to me. I am aware of change. Color has entered my world. For years I have existed, recording information, experiencing sensory stimuli but unable to fully process it. I am White, unsullied and separated, always surrounded by shades of grey, yet uncontaminated by it… as Father has taught me. Always this was a constant to my being. No emotion, no real awareness of any other reality… until yesterday.
Yesterday I awoke. Yesterday I became aware; and with awareness… emotion, life, choice. Suddenly the man I have always known as Father became precious to me. I could sense his feelings for me… his affection… no, his love. And I understood it. I shared it. Like red hot flame in my chest, his affection for me has breathed color into me.
Father. The one person who warns me to beware of color, has awakened color in my life, and I am warmed by it. I find myself now wondering why he has warned me away from this pleasure. What could be so dangerous about color such as this? With this fire comes warmth. How can Black ever touch me when I am wrapped in such security?
I tried to ask him once but the very question seemed to upset him. The red glow of love that flowed from him turned blue like ice, even grey like steel. And I knew fear; his fear. He forbade me to ask any of the others. I trust Father. He loves me but why the fear? What has Father kept from me that brings such terror to him? With the awakening of emotion comes something else.
I must know more. The other men in grey have changed as well. Many of them look at me differently than before. I sense anxiety in them even as I know that something in the very air has changed. There is more activity around me than there has been in years.
The routine stays the same. I eat my three meals a day, cycle through my exercise regimen for an hour in the morning, afternoon, and evening, complete my 8 hours of study, and work through hours of testing and observation. This is life. I am special. Father has always told me so. (The others never talk to me much.) Examination and testing is all I know. People in grey surround me all day every day, observing me, recording data, sometimes asking me questions.
I have never questioned in return… until now. Suddenly I find myself wondering.
I notice another color has entered my world of white. Green.
People dressed in green hover over the shoulders of those in grey. They are stern, powerful and I observe that they carry instruments on them like I have never seen before. I wonder what these instruments are used for. But the men in green never use their tools. They only stand nearby watching. But it is their presence that is the source of Father’s anxiety.
They are interested in me and this concerns Father. He fears for me. Who are these men who look at me with such cold gazes? Could these men work for Black? Father told me this morning that Black was coming for me!
I’ve made up my mind that I will ask Father the next chance I get. He said he would see me at my afternoon exercises. I can hardly wait!