It's what everyone tells me I am, so I must be it.  Tactless.  Without tact.  Lacking in subtlety.  Obvious, easily understood, open, honest, to a fault. 

It started out as not knowing when not to speak my mind, and then, as a teenager, it was an angry refusal to give into peer pressure, and now, as an adult, I'm just beyond the point at which a person learns such things (and I can't go back in time, to take a stab at it)... so I guess I'll have to do without it.

I used to believe I'd pick it up someday, or at least, that I'd be able to if I wanted.  But the older  I get, the less attainable that seems.

Tact.  Hmm.  How do you teach yourself to lie so seamlessly, that not even you can remember the original truth?  That will never be something I can do.

Oh, God.  I am nearly 30 years old.  I have no tact, none, whatsoever, except in really dire, very occasional circumstances--like I *might* realize it's a bad idea to tell you that the £200 doll's house I'm buying from you, which you've lovingly built and furnished and which is a genuine collector's item, is going to be my autistic 5-year-old's birthday present, and then, I *might* not say anything--but usually, nah, if I've thought it, it's already flown out my mouth, and me, I'm actually astonished that you don't *appreciate* my honesty.

What's worse, is when you pretend to like me, but actually, you wish I'd just shut the hell up.  Social cues are not my thing.  If you want me to go away, you need to tell me... or you'll just keep getting my tactlessness spurted all over your face.  Eventually, I'll realize that your lack of reciprocal honesty *might* be a sign of dislike... at which point, I'll either confront you directly (waaaaaay awkward for you, I'm guessing... *I* actually like being asked what I really think/feel, but whatever...) or, I'll just disappear completely, until I convince myself that maybe that's not how you felt at all...

And then, I'll be right back in your face, hosing you down with my distasteful honesty.  I mean, tactlessness.  Whatever.

The choice is yours.  Talk to me or don't, but either way, the only way to deal with tactlessness is to be tactless yourself; be honest; or you totally deserve what you get.

*Footnote: This entry was inspired by The Man in the Bill Gates Sweater.

The End

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