What is your name?

Please call me Miss Redburn. Anyway, I can't stay here because-

How old are you?

No I'm not quite eighteen yet. Why is that important? I don't see why my age is such a problem. It's just old people finding a reason to complain.

Where do you come from?


Are you married?

No. What are these questions for? And why are you asking me these?

Do you have any children?


What is your profession?

I don't actually have one. I just do this for fun. I know, it doesn't sound 'fun'.

Do you have any secrets?

None that are going to affect you.

Who is your best friend/worst enemy?

I grew out of friend inequality years ago. And I have more than one worst enmy.

What would you take out of a burning house?

Everything. Now, I really need to go-

Name 3 Strengths/Weaknesses.

Intelligence, carefulness and common sense. Small temper, impatience and rudeness.

If you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?

It depends on how significant 'one thing' you mean. Probably getting up earlier this morning.

What is the first thing you think of in the morning?

What time is it.

What are you terrified of?

Spiders, the dark and people like you.

What is the 1st thing on your christmas list?

Something to stop you from asking all the ridiculous questions.

What's the worst present you have got?

None. I find uses for everything.

Who would you want to talk to one last time?

Someone who's just died and I'd never met. Anyone who knows me wouldn't speak to me.

Would you consider yourself to be an angel or a devil?

What? Neither. People are stereotypically good or evil. You listen to too many stories. You're not very clever, are you? Anyway, I need to go-

What would your three wishes be?

For you to shut up, to rule the world and be able to go to-

What makes you angry?

Have you not yet realised?

Would you like a hug?

I'm on my way to find someone who has murdered ten people, stolen all their money as well as most of the banks all because they broke a nail and they are going to take over the world if I don't get to them now. Has it really taken the whole interview to tell you that?

The End

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