1. What is your name?
Jarod. I think that that's all you deserve to know for now.
2. How old are you?
Is this really a professional interview? So far it sucks. 19.
3. Thank you. So um, where do you come from?
A small rural hamlet. I'd have to kill you if I told you, I wouldn't dare end the saftey of my family, I'm sure you can accept that.
4. Are you married or in love perhaps?
These are all really personal questions you know. I'd rather not tell you.
5. Do you have any children?
Do I look like I have any children?
6. Ok, maybe not the right question for you. What about your profession?
I'm a student most of the time. I also have a part time job at the local Sea-Life centre but it's more to supply a bit of extra cash for my family then for myself.
7. Right, you don't have to tell me all of them, but do you have any secrets you'd like to share?
Wouldn't you like to know! Well, all I can say is that I did something I never imagined that I would have and it will haunt me for the rest of my life.
8. Who is your best friend and worst enemy?
I don't have many friends in particular, I just get along fairly well with a number of people, I can't stretch my friendship with anyone too far. And I don't really have a worst enemy, I probably will though now I suppose, why would his family ever understand things from my perspective. These are wierd questions I have to say, I'd like to know why you're asking them.
9. You haven't really told me anything specific so far have you? Even if this interview was to be passed on to someone they wouldn't have much information to deal with anyway. So, what would you take out of a burning house?
My dagger for one. You never know when someone's gonna assault you. Apart from that I'm not sure. If it was a case of saving my family, I would try to save them all regardless of the cost.
10. Name three weaknesses and three strengths.
Well I admit I can be a bit cocky sometimes, which may cloud my judgement. I hate warmth, it makes me feel so helpless and unable to breathe. I am terrible at making friends, and it would be nice to have an ally from time to time. In terms of strengths they're all secret really. I'm good at street fighting, I'm not bad at acting quickly, it may sound a bit pathetic but you always need to know your options and when to take them, it's more useful than it sounds.
11. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be?
I would have never come onto that boat with my dad. I should've stayed with my mother and helped her out, I would have done a lot less stupid things that way.
12. What is your first thought in the morning?
What kind of question is that? I don't know. It's not like I wake up thinking the same thing every day.
13. What are you terrified of?
Not being able to help my family. I've got used to being alone but if I knew they weren't alive, I just wouldn't know how to go on.
14. What is the first thing on your christmas list?
The winning lottery ticket. That would put my worries about mum to ease I suppose.
15. What is the worst present anyone's ever given you.
A suit. I hate being in a suit.
16. Who would you want to talk to one last time? What would you say?
Piss off! I'm not telling you anything about my private life! Are you trying to make me cry or something!?
17. No of course not. Sorry. I wonder, do you consider yourself a devil or an angel?
A devil. I've never done anything good for someone outside my family, and I don't think I ever will.
18. What would your three wishes be?
That my dad and myself weren't the people we are, that my mum would be able to support herself and that I wasn't so good at screwing up my relationships.
19. What makes you angry?
People who don't respect me when I'm in a bad mood, or if people misjudge me. I might actually have a reason for being such a dick sometimes, no-one cares what it is, that's all.
20. Well that's it I guess. Would you like a hug?
Hehe. Shut up you. You honestly think I'm the huggable type?