The Sandman

Interviewer’s Note:

For the reader’s benefit, the interviewee is a tall, lean, Caucasian young man with black hair, eyes like a still ocean in a dark night and a pair of soft black wings with specks of stardust scattered carelessly across the feathers.

 

1 - What is your name?

The Sandman.

 

2 - How old are you?

As old as sleep. I’ve lost count of the years.

 

3 - Where do you come from?

Another dimension that I like to call the Dream Realm.

4 - Are you married/in love?

No.

 

5 - Do you have any children?

No.

 

6 - What is your profession?

I drop sand into the atmosphere which induces heavy sleep and forms what humans call 'sleep in their eyes'.

 

7 - Do you have any secrets?

I had a crush on a mermaid once.

 

8 - Who is your best friend/worst enemy?

My best friend is a magnificent crimson dragon called Ferris. I don’t have a worst enemy.

 

9 - What would you take out of a burning house?

That’s an interesting question. My diary I suppose.

 

10 - Name three weaknesses and three strengths.

Three weaknesses...:

-       I’ve never really attached myself to anyone, which perhaps means that I’m a little out of touch.

-      I live in a world where fantasy is as real as reality, which perhaps makes it difficult for me to try to get to know humans.

-      Chocolate. Can’t get enough of the stuff.

 

Three strengths. Wow, you ask some difficult questions. I spent ages thinking of the weaknesses.

-      Singing. Does singing count as a strength? It’s a good skill to have when it makes people fall asleep.

-      Drawing. I’m great at drawing - if I do say so myself. Again, I’m not quite sure I’m answering your question here.

-      Comforting. Apparently I’m a good, solid shoulder to cry on. I take that as a compliment and try not to think about the fact that the person who told me that was a homosexual elf...

 

11 - If you could change 1 thing in your past, what would it be?

Um... I really don’t know. Maybe I’d like to have started composing my diary earlier. All those ideas lost in the sands of time... [Laughs] No pun intended.

 

12 - What is your first thought in the morning?

In the morning? I’m a night creature. Imagine everyone falling deeply asleep in the daytime! There would be chaos!

About my job: I work 24/7 - the Earth stops revolving for no one. I’ve settled into a routine where I enter each time-zone at eight o’clock in the evening.

 

I remember seeing a morning a few millenia ago, though... My first thought then was ‘The sunrise is so beautiful...’

 

13 - What are you terrified of?

Um... Really scary nightmares. And waking dreams.

Not that I’ve ever dreamt myself - I’ve stopped to watch someone in a waking dream and it looks dreadful.

 

14 - What is the 1st thing on your Christmas list?

Um, ... sand? [Laughs]

I don’t really ... need anything, you know. I mean, I have everything that I need in my world, and when I want something, I just draw it and turn it into a real thing. I guess, however, that the best thing my friends could get me was ...chocolate. [Grins]

 

15 - What is the worst present anyone's ever given you?

Well, you know, I don’t really celebrate a lot of events. I don’t know my birthday so I can’t celebrate it (and besides, I think millions of those would make me sick of them), and at Christmas, it’s more a time of being together with my friends and playing fun games.

 

16 - Who would you want to talk to one last time?  What would you say?

One last time. Now that’s depressing. I’ve never actually talked to anyone mortal, but I guess if I had and I cared about them, I’d tell them that they were wonderful and to not be worried as they lay on their deathbed.

 

17 - Would you consider yourself an angel or a devil?

Um, am I allowed to say neither? I mean, I can see how much people appreciate deep sleep, especially when there’s a beautiful dream involved, but I’m just doing a job, and ultimately if no one slept deeply enough, there would be a lot more problems in the world. In my opinion, anyway. I don’t believe I’m a devil because I’ve never intended anyone harm, but I do feel a bit guilty when people have nightmares or suffer waking dreams. Even though it’s not my fault... I guess I just feel like me. The Sandman.

 

18 - What would your 3 wishes be?

Oo, I’ve heard of this concept! You humans are so imaginative.

One, to fall in love.

Two, for there to be more happiness on Earth.

Three, ... um, I don’t know. If you’ve fallen in love and there’s more happiness on Earth, what more could one possibly need? ... For people to sleep better?

 

19 - What makes you angry?

The bad traits of humans.

 

20 - Would you like a hug?

I would! Thank you for asking!

[Hugs so tightly that the interviewer is almost left gasping for air.]

Thank you for the interview!

[Dematerialises.]

End of Interview

The End

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