"So, we meet again, oh Bad-Tempered One?"
Gwythryn gives me a glare that could curdle milk. Thankfully, this time, I have positioned myself nicely out of striking range, just in case he does decide to take a swing at me. Knowing him, I suspect he might try and do that anyway.
"You're evil." he says. "I knew you were nasty, but not this nasty."
"Nice to see you again too." I grin. "Aw, come on, it's not that bad is it?"
"What's not that bad?" Gwythryn snaps. "The fact that you've had me exiled, chased across the country, almost drowned me, broke my wrist-"
"Actually, I think you'll find I only fractured it." I say pedantically.
Gwythryn rolls his eyes. "Then you let a dying man stick a sword in my face, give me a mortal enemy who would like nothing better than to murder me ... and then you actually let him try!"
"It's all for the good of the plot, honest!" I raise my hands in surrender. "Besides, I thought you liked a bit of action? And come on, you must admit that it's not been all bad. Didn't I conveniently place a very attractive woman in your path?"
"You didn't let me keep her." Gwythryn snarls.
"Fair point ..." I decide to change tack. He has far too much moral backup on this subject. "But what do you think of the rewrite?"
"Pah. If anything you've just made it all worse. What about when you killed -"
"Spoilers!" I cut him off viciously. "Oh come on, grumpy guts! Besides," I put on my best sulky face, "I have to give you a happy ending anyway, don't I?"
"You'd better. Especially after what you're planning to do to me in all these blinking rewrites! Are you trying to embarrass me to death?"
"I ... what?" I blink, utterly confused by his question. Abuse, confound and mortally wound him, I have, but I have not yet done anything to demolish his dignity ... or have I?
"Is this about-"
"YES!" Gwythryn roars in frustration. "YES, THIS IS ABOUT THAT!"
I lose it. Within seconds, I have gone from a vaguely dignified state to a hysterically giggling wreck, rolling on the floor and shrieking like a jackal on helium. Gwythryn snarls and storms out of the room, wrenching the door open so hard it leaves a dent in the wall.
"After all this," he hisses as he stalks off, leaving me to laugh until I can barely breathe, "after all this torture, she has the nerve to turn my hair bright red. Someone get me a lawyer."