Charlie - That's No Molehill

'Well? You gonna tell me, or should I just go now?' I'm a really ticked-off hippopotamus now.

'Miss Broker,' says Mr Mole smoothly. He's a hard b*tch, and no mistake. 'I'm sure you have a great many questions, and I promise that I shall try to answer them as best I can. But first, if you would allow me to explain a few things. They should cover quite a few of your pending questions.' He smiles again. Jesus, how much I would like to punch him right now. Or shoot him. Yeah, shooting him would definitely be better.

'Whatever, brother,' I say casually. 'Whatever floats your boat. And when you're explaining your evil plans, don't forget to tell me your one weakness. It'd make my life a hell of a lot easier, I can tell you.'

'This isn't a game, Miss Broker, whatever you and your colleagues might think,' he says sharply. Good. It means I've rattled him. And I'll do a whole heap more than just rattle him before I'm done. I'll goddamn shake him so hard his brain pops out one ear and goes bouncing around the floor, and then I'll use Scissor-Legs over there as a golf bat, and then I'll shoot his brain, and then I'll shoot him, and then-

Focus, Charlie.

'Two of your teammates are dead.'

What the-?

I say as much. Only with slightly more swearing.

'I'm glad that seems to have got your attention. Now you know we're not playing around,' Mr Mole says with his corporate smile, 'perhaps you'll see the need to play our rules. You're on our turf now, Miss Broker. And you're delusional if you think I would have the slightest qualms about putting a bullet through your temples right now.'

'Then we're quits,' I growl. 'And that's real good, cause I'd have trouble shooting you if I didn't think you'd do the same for me. Oh, wait, no I wouldn't.'

Another goddamn smile. 'Fantastic. I'm glad we understand each other. Now, back to business. Randall... Hart, was it? Ah, yes, I remember him. Very useful, but he served his purpose. We had him eliminated.'

'What, you mean - Hart was working for you? All this goddamn time? Jesus, you've got fingers in a whole lot of new pies.'

'I shall take that as a compliment.'

'Don't. It so totally wasn't.'

'Nevertheless. Hart was working for us, yes, but not all the time. He came to us earlier this month. We had been extending our hospitality to his brother for some time.'

'Oh yeah? How nice of you.'

'Yes, I thought so. But then, we're nice people. Anyway, another of our agents eliminated him, thus clearing the way for us to eliminate both that Harrison woman and your boyfriend.'

He's lying. He's got to be. 'You shut up right now, because if you say another goddamn word, I swear to God I'll punch your goddamn mouth in!'

He just smiles. Jesus, he's about to loose all his goddamn teeth. And I am so not goddamn joking.

'Why the hell are you doing this? And if you don't have a good enough explanation, I am actually going to shoot something. Probably you, but I'm not so picky.'

'Empty threats, Miss Broker, and you know that.'

I just growl at him. 'Why are you ordering all this?'

I'm actually enjoying this. It feels good to be out in the field.

My phone rings. It's Harrison.

'Hey,' I say amenably. My friendly tone throws her off, and for a moment all she can do is stammer. You can never win with some people.

'Randall's dead,' she says finally.

'Yeah, I got that bit. Anything else? Oh, Jesus - David. Is he... ? I swear, if he's hurt, I'm going to-'

'He's here, he's fine. A little shaken, but okay. A lot shaken, actually.'

You'd think people might stop trying to kill him, but there you go. That's what comes of uncovering plots at a rate of fifty miles per hour.

'Where are you?' I ask.

'Still at the hospital, just getting checked out now. George is coming to pick me up.'

George? Who the heck is that?

The line goes dead. What the-?

Mr Mole is grinning. 'I'm sorry to bring your lovely little re-union to an end, Miss Broker. But I'm afraid, duty calls.' He nods to Scissor-Legs. 'Put her in the basement with the others.'

'Hey, wait - what others?'

Something presses against my back. Oh, Jesus, it's only a goddamn gun. Nothing to worry about, then. But I'm unarmed, aren't I? Stupid - stupid! So much for shooting people. What am I going to do - yell at them?

Huh. I could always goddamn try.

'If you'll just come this way, Miss Broker.'

'I don't suppose I've got any goddamn choice.'

I haven't.

~{}~

The basement is small, hardly lit, and already has two people inside. No prizes for guessing who.

Goddammit, but can you believe these people?

The door shuts behind me. Clunks twice. Deadlocked. Ain't that just dandy.

Well, I suppose I'm in here for good, at least until David realises where the bloody hell I've gone and comes to get me. Here's to hoping he's got his head screwed on today, eh?

Oh, Jesus. I've just worked something out. Something, like, important. Important as in going to get what's left of my team killed.

George.

Jesus, Alannah seriously does not have good taste in men.

Too bad they confiscated my phone.

The End

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