Randall: If Only SlightlyMature

                Everything is going pretty slow of late.  I’m used to living in my head, but everyone seems more internal lately.  As if so much more is going on behind their eyes.  Was I wrong to assume that I’m really that different from everyone?  I mean, it’s becoming clear we all have more going on in our heads that seems apparent.  But it just feels like to me they know how to deal with it.  They can do both, live life and act introspectively.

                There are a lot of things that come with being a human; an inherent ability to connect with other humans, to understand them.  I don’t have those.  It’s like there is some secret knowledge only the “normal” people know.  It’s something that’s held in reverence, no need to talk about it, no need to teach others about it.  We’re all supposed to know it by instinct.  So how can I pick it up?  How can I be like them, if I don’t know the fundamental values of normalcy?

                Is it something you have to look for, something that only those who search find?  Did I skip the true emotional breakthrough that comes with maturing?

                It doesn’t matter.  If I’m different, I’ll roll with it.  I’ll learn a work around.  They always say to live life in the moment, make life what you want.  Be the change.  Maybe just me thinking I’m different makes me different.

                I’ll make my thoughts known through actions.  I’ll catch the Knight.  I’ll show them all what I’m worth.  That even if I may seem like an outcast, I’m like them.  If only slightly.

The End

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