To Prove I'm More Complex Then I Look

Why do I write?

When you see me you see just a girl. Nothing more. A shy girl, who doesn't like to start conversation, who's never really sure of herself, who feels awkward around those she doesn't know. I keep things inside too much. I don't open up to people, no matter how much I want to.

If you were to spend one day in my mind you would never look at the world in the same way. When you get to know me and I let my wall down, you meet a very crazy and random person. Yet you still don't know the half of it. I'm never actually alone. When I listen to music, I see people. When I'm trying to fall asleep I see people. Don't mistake this for some creepy thing. It's not. My mind is always active, and I can spend hours sitting in the dark, rustling around in my bed, because I can't stop imagining worlds beyong my own. I'm not always content with the world I live in, it seems to simple sometimes. I know theres more. Most of us just live simple lives, and I like living in a world where you don't.

My mind plays out stories, and my imagination never tires or runs out of ideas. No one understands me though. They expect me to be simple minded, but I'm not. I needed a way to prove and let out all this locked up gold. And I was introduced to the world of writing.

I've been writing since I was really young. But I never thought much of it. On long car rides I would write sloppy stories which I only got a page out of before I grew bored. I hadn't yet completely grown my violently active and creative mind. In fifth grade I decided to start writing my first novel. I find inspiration in tons of places. Such as with a game I would play, in which I could stop and go around to all the places I've been and do things that I wasn't really supposed to do. From there I would talk out stories to myself. But one day I got the clever idea to take with me a notebook and pencil when I played. I got three chapters out of it.

That was the first novel I wrote and the only one that I ever finished. But by the end of that school year I wasn't happy with it. We studdied writing and I grew throughout the story. It was messy and didn't make me happy, so I left it alone.

I started reading more in sixth grade since I was in the Talented and Gifted program in my class. This was about the time I was hooked on writing. We got laptops in our class. We didn't get to keep them, and they stayed in the classroom and went to the kids for the next year. But we wrote so much in that class. We always had writing projects and every spare moment I had I was on the laptop typing my heart out. I wrote longer stories than the other kids, and I enjoyed it much more.

What I also liked is that she didn't make us plan out our stories. We just got to write. Thats the way I prefer to write, cause like with life, its never planned out. I get the basic problem in my head along with the characters and go on from there.

My teacher soon noticed that I exceded the rest of my class in my writing skills. One day she took me back to her desk and taught me the proper way to set up dialogue months before we got to that lesson in class. She took an interest in my writing since she knew that I loved it and had a knick for it. That was my greatest writing year, and often times I wish my english classes were like that one.

In seventh grade my teacher wasn't big on writing projects, so she never found my talent, and I felt rather left in the dark and unnoticed. I enjoyed being praised on my work.

In eighth grade I finally had another teacher who found me out on my talents. We had a huge writing project, and I found out about the theme before hand and got ideas while on a trip. So when I got back I was ready to go. My story was about fourteen pages long, and she gave me extra credit on it along with a perfect grade. I was confused at first why I had recieved extra credit so my mother advised me to ask her. She told me that I had been given it since I was writing at a high school level, and that I was the best writer out of my whole class. That right there really got me going, as i felt that I was getting where I wanted to be. She told me about getting things published, and told me that I could if I wanted to.

Now all I have to do is write that novel that I love, and finish it, and try my best to get someone to look at it. But normally I keep my writing to myself. People always ask to read my work and I tell them I'll let them when I finish. Like you know, I never really finish. I needed some way to really be able to get my creativity out there and see what people really thought. My friends would always tell me everything I wrote was perfect. I couldn't get anything out of them since they didn't know any better. I needed someone to critique it, or someone who had the same talents as me to honestly say it was good. I needed to get my stories out there.

One of my friends told me about Protagonize and how she had a great time writing on here. I thought that I would give it a shot, and now here I am and I can't stay away. This place is perfect.

So what got you going?

The End

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