The kids at school, my so-called friends, were merciless. ‘Teasing’ is such a vanilla word for what they did to me. There were whispers in the halls, graffiti in the bathrooms, nasty notes slipped into my locker. That’s only the gist of what was done in the halls, you can’t even imagine the lengths they took this monster on the web. Did you know that you can start a blog to shame someone? Did you know you can start a petition suggesting someone kill themselves? Isn’t the internet beautiful?
Renee wasn’t apologetic, and you would think I slept with her boyfriend by the way she started treating me. Like I was a sticky wad of chewed gum clinging to her favorite wedges. Not only that, but somehow she had been the ringleader in getting everyone else to shun me. I had gone from being friendly with everyone in my school, to having to eat alone while everyone talked about me loud enough for me to hear. All for what? For not putting out? I feel like that kind of warning should be included in sex-ed.
Nobody likes a virgin, ladies, so if your boyfriend wants it you better give it up or be prepared for all your friends to turn on you like a pack of rabid gossip wolves. You can say that sex isn’t the answer, Doc, but you aren’t a teenage girl in today’s world. You will never understand.
For the record, I’m still a virgin Mr. Psychiatrist. By diagnosing me with any level of nymphomania I can only assess that you are very bad at your job. I mean, you could truthfully say that I am weirdly fascinated with sex, but it’s the scared sort of fixation. Like the flying insect drawn into the pretty blue light because it looks magical, only to be zapped by it and have all of its insides poofed into dust. Sex is destructive even if you aren’t having it. I don’t trust when they say it can be beautiful.
Don’t let my parent’s fool you either, ok. There is a long history of mental instability in my family. I bet when through her tears while admitting me my mother failed to mention her bipolar disorder or how you can frequently find her blitzed out of her mind because she forgot how many Xanax she had already taken. I’m the sanest of them all. That’s a sick thought, isn’t it?
May I have my medication now?