I sighed as I lay there with Brody. I could feel the panic start creeping up my spine again but was so far managing to keep it at bay. I didn’t particularly want to transform when I was this close to him. I’d won my fair share of injuries when one of the pack had transformed a little too close to me. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t deliberate injuries. It’s just under close contact, claws tend to get in the way and all so you end up accidentally scratching people.
And I certainly had no intention of harming Brody.
Maybe the biting thing... When I was a kid, I hated carrots with a passion. And my mom, kind woman that she is, kind of forced me to eat them. I love the fuckers now. So, what if the biting thing was like that? It was a long shot but I was maybe willing to go with it. Maybe...
I wanted the real me back but I didn’t know if I was willing to put myself through something I didn’t like on the off-chance that it might bring my memory back. Fuck, what was I thinking? I felt bad for thinking it, but how did I even know Brody was telling the truth?
I snuggled up to him a little more, humming to myself as he snuggled back. I glanced at his stomach as I heard it grumble hungrily but he didn’t move. I prodded his belly a little, wondering whether or not it’d provoke a reaction. It did to an extent; he glanced down at me.
“You sound hungry”
He smiled a little. “I can wait til later”
“You can... I mean, I’m willing to let you try...” I trailed off kind of shyly. I wasn’t quite sure why I was still going through with it.
“As long as you think you’re ready”
I nodded. What a huge lie. He planted a tiny kiss on my lips and I returned it, trying to hide just hoe nervous about the whole thing I was. Trust me, nervousness on top of suppressed panic is never a good thing.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to”
“I want to” I said with a slight smile to cover up the lie.
Brody didn’t look so sure about it, kissing my neck. I titled my head a little. I was more than okay with the kisses. I tried to ignore it as I felt his teeth sink into my neck but I couldn’t help but tense up a little. I so wasn’t ready for this. He pulled back but I shut my eyes.
“No, it’s fine”
I tried my best not to tense up and be weirded out by it since I could tell he was trying to be gentle. I kept my eyes shut, trying to block it all out. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I was making out but I guess I’m just a huge pansy or something. He pulled back after a while, healing the punctures in my neck. Apparently my instincts thought I’d just been attacked because the next thing I knew, my fist collided with his jaw. Brody grunted, letting out a wince and I realised what’d just happened.
“Fuck, I’m sorry”
“S’okay” he said, rubbing his jaw.
“It’s not, I shouldn’t have done that”
“It’s okay” he said, kissing my cheek.
I still felt bad about it. No matter how many times he said it was okay, I’d still feel guilty.
“What?” I asked when I saw him smiling.
“I guess that’s something we’ll be working on, eh?”
Yeah. You might need to tie my hands down or something next time, though.